MONDAY'S MOMENTS

COLD!  We had someone leave a tiny yellow kitten in our yard about three or four weeks ago.  She seemed to get along well then grew weak....she was wild and I couldn't get too close for awhile.  I stroked her a few time while she was eating but she became thin and finally I picked her up a couple of times and gradually I could pick her up anytime.  Jack's daughter helped to tame her and after she left I brought her in to feed her.........seeing she didn't have the strength to eat with the others.   We felt that the sneezing little ball of fur had a really bad cold or worse.  Etc.....Now the little "Goldie" is getting along quite well, in fact she spend the nights in our bathroom but has learned to open the door and come wake us up to play.  When this bitter cold weather is over she goes out with the others for the night.  She spends the sunny warmer part of the day with her buddies.   She goes to the door to get out but seems happy to come in when it cools off in the evenings.

I had the bathroom door (a pocket door) wedged shut with a washcloth and that didn't work.  She pulled that one out and two others that I fixed quite well.  Must buy a door wedge for tonight.  She sleeps on a warmed "cornie bag" warmed in the microwave because the bathroom is cold.......now is this spoiling her?

PEACE at Marigold Country Home!

What a surprise!

I went into the attached garage to get some cokes because Jack had an upset stomach at 5 this morning and to keep Mom's cat from going into the house I shut the door into the laundry room securely!  VERY SECURELY!  I was locked out of the house..........every door to the outside was firmly locked and the screen doors latched!  Temperatures were in the 20's but felt like single digit!

Jack managed to get to the door into our room after I manually opened the garage car door and pounded on a window close to him!  NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS BAREFOOTED AND IN A T-SHIRT!  

Oh well I have had my chilling thrill for the day!

Since we have not used the lock on the door into the garage since I have been here as far as I know  someone must have been working on it.  I have tried to remind Mom repeatedly that that door needs to be kept shut to keep out the cold air from the garage.  Guess she thought that was a good way to keep that door shut! LOL 

For those who have been sending me e-mails asking what was wrong..........well Mom has not been well, and Jack has been under the weather also.

In fact Mother was a concern to her nurses from the health agency and they notified the doctor and he came to the house (10 miles away) on his lunch break and then made her an appointment to see a surgeon in Lawton this week.  She promised him she would go and do what the doctor said.  This doctor knew we would never get her to his office so he came to her.   Do wonders never cease. 

I feel like I am facing some serious situations and decisions and I am not liking this very much.  I am an only child......and feel very lonely at this time.

 

 

A really fun week

Mom has been so much better and I had a couple of days without the aide.  It worked fine and I realized how much progress Mom had made with the help of the aide getting her to talk and participate in things.

Today is Jack's birthday and he is expecting his daughter at the airport this afternoon.  This will be her first visit in the time we have been here and even before we left California.  She has been a caregiver for her mom off and on and she needs the time to recoop, also.

Having guests isn't easy with a person in the household who needs assistance, much less  two.  Family members are more understanding I hope.  The most difficult time I am having is meal preparation.  Mom likes certain things, the aide is a very picky eater, Jack has a restrictive diet, and I eat usually on the run.  Hope Jack's daughter will fit in one of the above catagories.

Caregivers out there.......how do you manage sleep?  When I can ~I can't and when I can't ~I am so sleepy that it is difficult to function.   I can't take a sleep help of any kind because I might be needed in the night.  I try to nap during the day but usually it is difficult in a busy household.  HELP!

DISAPPOINTMENTS...............

Mom's aide had to make up some time this week so we thought Saturday was fine.  We were ready and excited about another 6 hours  together. 

 We  drove about 13 miles away from the house and Jack began to get sick.  We returned home and decided to spend a quiet afternoon. 

 Caregivers understand that the best laid plans can go astray.  So a good book, games on the computer, and a afternoon without responsibility can be restful and that was what I needed.

We will try again on Friday or next Saturday since that is Jack's birthday weekend.  His daughter wanted to fly in but complications seem to have come up....now that will be a real disappointment for Jack.

New Year's  Happiness for all of you.

 

 

A new year approaches..............

We just didn't "do" Christmas this year!  I fully intended to send Christmas Cards but each time I picked up the address book and box of cards I came to a full stop.   A number of fears and misgivings kept me from writing names on the cards. 

Earlier I had asked friends and relatives that we exchange gifts with to just not "exchange" this year.  Without time to shop and think about others' needs and wants........it put pressure where only good times should be.  Interesting enough everyone seemed to agree and I enjoyed the relief. 

There is always one who just has to give a bag of gifts and  this was someone new that was just intent in putting some cheer in our lives.  But I won't be drawn into an exchange next year.

Even our kids honored our wishes.  My daughter said it felt funny not to shop and send things but she said it was a relief not to have the pressure of buying packaging and getting things in the mail.  She did a magazine thing and said we could all enjoy those together.  We put wallpaper in their wallets and that always cheered the kids.

Dinner was very simple and I did do Christmas things for Mom.  A new top, getting her car fixed so she would be comfortable riding in that vehicle.  Some new nail polish....but no big things.  And for Jack and I there was nothing.  She didn't remember the girls and didn't seem to mind that she was not gifting other people that she usually gave Christmas checks to.  Actually she had to be constantly reminded it was the Christmas season.

We had a first at our little community church.  A Christmas Eve service early in the evening and the decorations and candles made it very festive as well as  serious.  Mom wanted to go and she enjoyed the beautiful lights.  She didn't understand that it was different in many ways that a regular church service but enjoyable.  She can't see or hear well and seldom sings during a church service, but she sang  "Silent Night" all the way through.  A lovely memory to hold dear.

Jack and I haven't exchanged gifts for several years, if I express a desire for something he usually manages to arrange for that item to appear.  One year I wanted pearl earrings and that  year his daughter shopped and sent them to him to give to me.  My daughter had given me pearls for my birthday and I wanted earrings to match.

This year he wanted a sweater vest to wear when he was cold or needed more when he went out, tho it arrived a bit early, we found one he liked.  Keeping Christmas simple has been such a help to me.  And not going to the extremes with decorations and wrappings has  certainly cut down on our trash output! LOL

A young man asked me what I got for Christmas and when I said,"oh, nothing." he was quite taken aback....why and I said there wasn't anything I wanted but some black crocs.  He thought that was funny and said he wanted lots of  STUFF.  I think that is the realm of the youth.  Most adults are not in that mode.  Somewhere this whole thing has gotten out of control and the merchandising industry has capitalized on our inability to say no.

I hope I have started a "new tradition" for our family and friends.  Give Christmas all year long in kindness and caring, small rememberances when they count, and the knowledge that love is the choice gift of the season.

Happy New Year and plan something interesting.  Jack and I have a bottle of apple cider and a cheese roll and crackers.  And maybe I will send some letters to people that I didn't send cards to.

26th ANTIVERSARY

We actually got to spend 6 hours together without others interrupting. 

We left the house about 8:30 a little behind schedule but had to enjoy a gift from a neighbor and pass a pleasant few minutes with the lady neighbor who helps me with the house and Mom. 

We stopped for the mail and then sailed on for an hour's drive to the nearest Casino.  This was my choice of activity because I can actually block out everything while playing the slot games.  Jack doesn't play so he cruises and looks for likely places for me to spend my $$$$.  

We were actually very lucky to find a place to enter the casino and keep the car nearby for any emergencies.  We only had to exit the casino once so   that worked out well.  However the casino was a little cool for Jack and we left about 12 and went to the Red Lobster to use a gift certificate that Jack received for Father's Day.

The restaurant was very easy to enter and exit.  The aisles were wide and easy to maneuver.  The management found a table for us where Jack could feel he was not in the way of other people.  They were very helpful and helping Jack position himself with the table.  They get an A plus all round!

We enjoyed the luncheon so much......since this was the first time Jack and I had been to lunch together since we have been here.  I am saying lunch being where we could sit, relax, and enjoy the food and service without taking care of someone else or having others with us. 

We have been here in residence now-------2 years and 2 days and yesterday was a first!  We returned home about 2:15 and the rest of the day went  pretty well.  At the end of the day  our little church, the only one in town, had a birthday party for Jesus.    About 8 kids and 8 adults.  Cake and ice cream was served and the neighborhood kids enjoyed that.  Small bags were made and given out several Sundays ago for people to put $$ in and those were given as gifts for Jesus.  The proceeds were to be used for a special project.  The pastor isn't preachy but she made the candles and cake a visual lesson to remind all of us to keep Jesus in the center of our lives all year long.    Nice day all round!

Merry Christmas to all of you!

Something you have always wanted?

Ever since mother has had an aide to do her nails, hair, etc., she has asked for red nail polish.  I really thought she was joking but she wasn't. I purchased several shades of pink from light to dark finally, I bought the reddest polish I could find and she loves it!  She has talked about her nails and shown everyone.  Something so small made her so happy.

Sometimes I suppose we don't listen well.  We decide what would make people happy at Christmas and other times.  We received a card this week with a thank-you note inside.  I had sent a Thanksgiving card to a young man who has several handicaps one being his mental age.  To see this young man who actually is in his 40's I guess, you would never guess his ability level.  But his mom had said he enjoyed the card and carried it all day, to the table at meals and to bed that night.  I understand her delight, when you see someone you love happy over something you are delighted and thankful for that enjoyment.  Knowing how much Mom enjoyed the red nail enamel made me think about listening more closely.

Happy a Merry Christmas!