It had been over a month since I have put anything into this journal. Things are changing, some good, some not as we would like them.
Mom has been in a nursing facility now for over three months. Most of the time she seems happy and content. She has had some bad days that caused me to very grateful to the staff. Most days she knows who I am and is glad to see me. I seldom miss a day going to check on her and rubbing her back, giving lots of hugs and kisses, and other endearments.
Here at the house I am dealing with the aspect that Mom won't be coming back here to live and am trying to make small "baby step" changes. To be more radical would difficult without some guilt feelings.
Jack is having more health problems and knowing Mom is taken care of so well makes my work here much easier. He encourages me to go see about Mom each day. I sometimes hate to leave him because of some difficult he is having but to not go takes away the help he is trying to give.
Many say they understand the choices that I am having to make and I appreciate their concern and sympathy. When you miss the man who sat next to Mom at each meal and learn he became ill and passed this weekend; her roommate is missing and she too is gone; you want to hold on to each moment that we share.
Mom doesn't talk a great deal and it is difficult for her to make her thoughts understandable but the smile is still there. I think all the people around her helps keep her from loneliness and boredom.
Peace reigns!
