Mother's picture was among many groups of residents of the nursing facility where she lives. They had an entertainment for the people and they all enjoyed the afternoon on the patio listening to Blue Grass Music. Jack found her in the group and I cut out the picture to send to her niece. I told her this morning she was in the paper and I would send it to Rita, Mom really got excited and laughed.
Peace!
Going to visit my Mom is always an experience. Sometimes she is glad to see me. The next time she is rather passive and not responsive.
Yesterday made me feel left out. I never stay long just breeze in, sometimes rub her back, feed her a meal, just give her kisses (our special way), and leave her to rest or do whatever she is caught up in. I have always felt that in most facilities there is little space for visiting, the resident feels like I did when I was in the hospital--just say hello and leave me alone, or I am in the way of the functioning of the facility.
When I took the doughnuts yesterday, the girls all came down to say hello and thanks for being appreciated, waved at Mom and went about their business. Mom didn't have much time for me, she told me she had a pain, her legs still hurt and not to touch them, and then asked if I was leaving! LOL I noticed when the girls came in, she responded to their waves and smiled.
The good thing about this is: Mom is so settled in that the nurses and aides that she sees all day long are more familiar to her than seeing my face daily. She is also so bonded to them that they seem like her family and she has transferred dependency to them. I need this in case Jack has problems and I need to spend time with him and not see Mom every day. I should be grateful for the loving care that has made Mom attach herself to these ladies.
My goal is to make Mom comfortable and content in her new living accommodations. I am still her daughter but this group is her new family and they are the ones that make her comfortable, feed her, and give her smiles all day. Emotionally I feel left out and more like an observer. Rationally, I am glad of the transfer and the adjustment. I feel she is safe and better cared for than the job I was doing because of the professional nurses and availability of a Physician Assistant. This is what she deserves and what I wanted for her. I am not sure what I expected with the dementia. But I don't think I was quite ready for such a good adjustment and her not asking about home and her cat. I worried about how I would handle that, and now I am hurt that I don't have to handle that! Are we never satisfied? lol
No one I talked to-----told me this would be this difficult-----and I am sure it is different for everyone.
Jack and I have often found rainbows when traveling, once we were in Death Valley and tried to find the end of a beautiful rainbow. Instead we drove through the beautiful rays and laughed at the absence of a pot of gold. But perhaps the pot of gold comes in different forms!
Wednesday just before noon Jack and I took our first real drive for pleasure since Mom has been at Ayres. Jack had not been to Vernon, Texas. We kept hearing about the storm areas and Vernon was often mentioned so we drove South. We were through small towns and drove around looking at the old churches and restored store buildings. We are not as interested in cemeteries since Jack can't get out in the weeds and grass so we look at the historical significance of the brick or stone buildings. Lots of Golden Dreams in those old buildings or emotional rainbows!
We had lunch in Vernon and returned the same route, locating perhaps the direction our next "drive about" will take. I noticed it doesn't take much to entertain us anymore. Just being out together is a real treat. Just a colorful landscape or a landed rainbow?
Yesterday evening we both had our evening meal, had our feet up, and I was almost dozing. The doorbell rang and I thought the neighborhood junior helpers must be looking for a job! LOL But it was a cousin that I am not positive but it has been over 50 years since I had seen him. He and his family were taking a drive day to look at their birth places, cemeteries, etc. His sister had been here earlier with her husband and now the younger brother shows up. Here again was a lovely colorful group, perhaps a family rainbow?
My cousin made an interesting comment........only in the country does someone invite you in even when they don't know you! I returned that someone who knocks on your door needs help or probably knows you.....but he thought it unique. Of course they live in the metro and that makes a difference. Here in small towns there are neighborhood rainbows or maybe a different type of friendly rainbow?
This morning I made a doughnut run and will take glazed sugary hunks to the nursing home staff. They deserve all the perks they can get. A "friend" came by and was full of discord when it comes to nursing facilities. I told her I was satisfied and felt that I got much more care for MOM with praise than with constant criticism. She thought I was full of bunk! LOL
Today promises to be hot...........so quiet and peace will be the rule of the day in Marigold country home!
YES,
I made the right decision when I put mom in the nursing facility. After yesterday at the emergency room for hours and hours, I knew I had done the right thing . Blood clots in both legs was a painful and dangerous condition and after the trip to the emergency room I felt the nursing home was doing a good job.
Today they called to tell me they had started therapy and she had eaten a good lunch. And I decided on my own that she had had a hard day on Monday and so had I so we both rested at our respective homes.
I was also informed that my reactions to the nursing home care was normal and correct and not to worry! LOL At home I felt tired and unable to start any projects or carry out regular activities....... this was also normal.
So SUPER WOMAN is normal and everything is fine!
Sirens and wind! We were ready to take cover but the rains came and that was all! We again were very fortunate and avoided a tornado, hail, high winds, and all the other things that were forcast!
Mother has encountered some medical problems since she entered the nursing facilities. These circumstances or situations I would probably not recognised, and if I did would have had to make an appointment, then take mother to the doctor's appointment,etc. But at the facility they immediately recognised the symptoms, call the doctor and started medication. AGAIN I am grateful that she is there and getting good care.
With the stormy weather constantly forcast and the possibilities of loss of power, I cannot in good conscience think of bringing Mom back here. She is safe and well cared for now. I go almost every day, at different times to just check on things. She always seems so glad to see me, and I don't stay long because she is usually going to or coming from some activity.
Mom smiled a lot today and looked the best she has in a long time. I think she likes having so many people around her.
It has been a busy week. With Jack's daughter here to help we have accomplished a great deal. Her original plan was to be with Jack while I hunted a place for Mom but that happened before she got here. Her being here has been a great distraction so I didn't think about Mom and worry about her.
This is her last day and I know I am going to miss her greatly. Jack has enjoyed her visit and they have spent lots of time together. She makes him laugh and he needed lots of that. She has also cooked for us. She like my daugher likes to show off her skills and she is a good cook. When either one or both are here I can stay out of the kitchen!
We have had the airconditioner repairman here to fix our room unit. The exhaust fan broke and we had a new part overnighted and that was fixed Tuesday.
The plumber put in a new commode (tall size) in Mom's bathroom bringing it up to handicap standard. We have been on his waiting list for sometime and he was scheduled to be here last Friday but we had to put him off till we had power and water.
A homeless dog had picked our house to park for a couple of weeks and I had named him----"get out of here dog", or so it would seem. But the friend who helped with the power from the truck......fell for him and took him home to the farm with him. Good for both of them!
The big fire across the alley from us has really upset the cat population and that is great.........we have less felines. Maybe they looked at the mobile home that they dragged in a couple of days ago and decided on a better neighborhood. Nothing has been cleaned up.....but the trailer is sitting there like a great boil on the neighborhood.
Today promises to be hot........need to feed the felines that are squatting about the yard........actually sitting not doing the other! And then I will have another cup of coffee.
Peace!
Thursday evening we had a very bad storm.
Several towns nearby had a great deal of damage.
We were again fortunate except the power went off abut 8 p.m. We were told the next day that we would not have power for several days and later in the day the same about water. So about noon on Friday I took Mom to a nursing facility because I felt she would be well cared for there and safe. Not knowing what we would do with the heat, no power, no water, we would probably go to a motel or some such place away from here. Friends came in and powered up a unit using a diesel pickup and we had power for Jack's chair and a fan. We would make it through that night.
At 5 the next morning we were awakened to pounding on our doors and windows to awaken us. The house just across the alley was fully engulfed in flames and they wanted us awake incase we had to leave.
Our VOLUNTEER fire department put a pumper truck between the fire and us and kept water on all our buildings and house, everything until the fire was out. They also kept one of the firemen manning that truck at all times.
The fire was not actually out till Sunday night when it flared up for the umteenth time and was thoroughly soaked with water again and again.
I went on Sunday to take Mom some more clothing,etc and tell her about her friends home, and she said she was well cared for and happy! When I left she waved said goodby and to drive carefully!
Nurses said she had adjusted very well and I was grateful for their care . This is the facility that her husband had been as well as her sister. She knew everyone and she was well known also. So far, so good!
I am getting some rest, Jack's daughter is here helping me to learn again to rest and let someone else help....
The sore ankle that resulted from a slip on water in the bathroom on Sunday is definately better, also!
Peace!
Picture this:
fields of golden wheat ready to be cut,
huge combines and semis in the fields waiting to begin the day,
the hot sun and wind drying the crop to ready it for cutting,
workers starting the day at 8 in the morning and keeping at it until 11 at night,
and everyone holding their breath that the clouds will continue to scuttle across the sky and not stop here.
The temperatures are approaching triple digit figures, and it is hot let me assure you!
Goldie and Lonesome went to see vet yesterday. New procedure for neutering is done with laser and they seem to be doing well.
Jack's daughter called yesterday and she is coming to give me time to do some facility research, give her dad some Father's Day time, and in general enjoy this horrible heat! LOL
It will be wonderful to have someone to share the responsibility with for a few days....she is so good with her dad. I need a time to do things like get a haircut.
Barking dogs woke me at 3 this morning.............cats do not BARK!
Peace reigns but shakily at Marigold Country Home!
