Monday, June 7, 2010DO YOU EVER WONDER...................?Do you ever wonder just what the future holds? Well, it is something we all do and yet we really don't want to know too much. If your family member is ill with a progressive disease like MS or Parkinson's Disease..........each day brings changes and more questions about the next stage of development. Jack is having some changes in his behavior and the changes come slowly and then wham they seem to explode! Right now he is very angry and upset with all the things that are happening. If he makes some small mistakes he seems to just react with strong emotion. Having a power chair sometimes isn't as good a thing as it has been for many years. The chair "all on its own will jump to a high speed"! Then Jack becomes angry and jams the chair into tables chairs or whatever is handy. If he backs into someone.....they ran into him.......(typical man? LOL) But dangerous if I were taking him out to a restaurant or entertainment. In the controlled environment of the care facility there isn't much he can damage expect other residents or me. I have had my feet run over and it's always isn't just a little thing. He has had a permanent cathater put in and it isn't working out as well as we had hoped. It is quite painful and something must be wrong. I hope the nurses and doctor can work out the problem for Jack's sake. His medication isn't always just on time and the results are muscles that won't work and a mouth that is so drawn aside that it is difficult to understand what Jack is saying........he also says he had difficulty breathing........some of this is the panic he feels when he is so out of control.I still go twice a day on most days..........it is getting so hot now I may cut that down because of the extreme danger to be out and about with the high humidity and heat index. Jack's daughter hasn't been here since last year and he would so like to see her. Her job and life style prevents her coming too often.For Christmas 2009 I made a wall hanging for Jack's room and it has all the things he has done in his life. Movies, plays, music, military, career, hobbies, volunteer activities and so many aspects of his life. It keeps him focused on how good life has been. Residents and visitors who drop in have something to start conversations and take away some good stories about Jack's life.This life alone is quite lonely to say the least for both Jack and I but we are making it day by day.............I looked forward to Spring now I am looking forward to Fall!