And then there is Plan B

One of these days I will remember - don't plan too largely on anything because something will always come up! Yep!  And then there was Plan B which was stay home and put your feet up!

Well, something like that!  Jack had a bad episode this morning.........Mom's home health aide who didn't come yesterday and rescheduled for today was a couple of hours late soooooo Mom and I went for a drive later for a prescription  and then I started another project.

Mom has two chest freezers that have the accumulation of a great many years.  The first I have almost empty and the second has a nice start now.  So Plan B was a pretty "cool" afternoon.

This isn't my house and I have to remember that when I put my muddy boots to cleaning out closets, freezers, and other deposit places.  Too much too fast and Mom gets suspicious.   So this week I have made some things disappear....just like magic!  Not a lot and of course not everything in an area just a little at a time. 

So have a nice weekend and Cherrio  from Marigold Country Home!

 

A true test of my coping skills.........

It is Saturday.  It will be a fun day for all.  I have said it and I mean it!  Did you ever tell your kids that they would go somewhere and they would have a good time or else?

It is a Sam's Club day.   If I am lucky there will be a place for Mom to sit and wait while Jack and I shop till we drop..........or at least till I drop because Jack has his power chair!  If it isn't too hot Mom can sit in the van if she prefers.  Anyway it will be a great day.

Why is it that when one is responsible for almost all actions and all decisions that  the sky usually falls?  Thursday the key and mechanism locked while in a neighboring town.  With some assistance we were able to unjam the key and the car started fine.  Yesterday, the key did the same thing and I was unable to start the car.  A neighbor came over and unjamed the system and said the mechanism was so worn that it would happen again and what to do.  I said can you fix it? Oh yes, and would if I got the part.  I only paniced a little.  I am getting better at this.  Jack laughed at me, we have two vehicles.  Sometimes I forget that a car and a spare car is always nice! LOL  The one I drive most of the time is my Mom's 16 year old Crown Victoria with about 70000 miles on it.  It is the offending vehicle.

Our van is an enter van.  We could not function without that.  However, we are looking into public transportation.  Locally there are enter vans that carry patients to doctors or other appointments.  Another neighbor drives for this company.  In an emergency this would be helpful.

I guess today started at 4am since that is the time I got up.........so Peace from Marigold Country Home and a  medicinal chocolate kiss to all of you!

 

Is it Friday already?

Is it Friday already?  Where did this week go and was I here or some place else? LOL Sometimes I try to remember just which day something happened and I find the days run together!

A friend brought a lot of Ensure from the base where she shops, and that was a great help!  I seem to find fewer opportunities to just run and grab some groceries.  If it was not for Schwan's we might starve!  Now that is really a joke!  But the Schwan's dinners for two really come in handy.

I want you men out there to know that we females have weapons that you could never use!  One of Jack's medications is so controlled that I have to drive an hour to the doctor's office and an hour back just to get the prescription.  Only those who have special identificaton and signatures (me) can even pick up the prescription!  Well, the prescription ran out on the 31st of March.  I called in the request on the 28th so I could pick up the prescription this week! 

It has been one of those weeks, so I called in today when I saw that circumstances was going to prevent my going this afternoon and asked if it could be faxed to a pharmacy as they had done before  the change in policy.  No, the doctor was not there to approve such a thing..... That I should have called in sooner possibly the day before.  I said Ok, guess Jack could go without that pain med for a few more days... and I cried!  I just received a call back....doctor has approved the fax this month only!

Isn't it interesting how easily they could find the doctor? 

Mom has another new nurse for weekly visits.  This one seemed to know some options that we had not tried yet.  Like a day care in the town where we see doctors, shop, and enjoy eating out when we had help.  So again I have high hopes. 

A neighbor brought me two pots of iris to set out.  She didn't remember what color they were so will be a lovely surprise.  I reset a lot of iris last week and she laughed and said one day I would regret having so many because they spread so quickly!  Marigolds, iris, 4 o'clocks, and tall English hollyhocks, some mums, Easter lilies, and larkspur, and what else can I find! LOL 

Physical therapist for Mom is here, she isn't always cooperative because the exercise makes her tired but it is soooooooooo good for her.  Now, one more person is expected......Jack's nurse who comes rather late.....and then another week is finished!  We are at the mercy of these medicare paid people.  We don't want to lose them and they set their own schedules mostly.  This is why it is so difficult to set our schedules.

 Peace from Marigold Country Home!

 

Monday is just another day...............

I have been trying to find ways to cope.  The frustration of fatigue, failure, and no fast food is beginning to be a wearing factor on the system.

Before the doctor started to tell me about caring for myself as well as my patients, I had decided some changes had to come about.  I had tried lots of band aides to the emotional stress but none seemed to cover the wounds left by sleepless nights and inexperience in caring for a parent.  There is a difference in caring for spouse and parent.

Sometime in the middle of the night on one of the treks from one end of the house to the other I realized I was hanging on to lots of resentment and anger because I could not get help.  (Long story about insurance coverage).   The frustration and anger had become a badge to wear to gain sympathy BUT it didn't bring help or comfort.

I buried myself in complaints and that didn't carry out the trash, clean the floors, do laundry, or prepare meals.  The complaints only sapped me of energy and the stamina that I needed each day.  The anger  made my heart pound, gave me headaches, and gave me a nasty attitude.  The attitude was my biggest worry.

Then in that middle of the night flash of inspiration came a bright light that let me see how foolish I was being.  I cannot change the situation but I can change how I really perceive  and handle the frustration.  What happened 10 minutes ago is gone.......this is a new  period of time.

Disconnecting the anger, letting go of the frustration, and cherishing each moment with my mom and husband is helping me get through the spring days.  It might not last forever, it might not work for anyone else, and it may only be a band aide until the hurt is better healed, but today is another opportunity to care.  

 

Took my husband to his primary care doctor yesterday.  His first comment was to me.......you have lost weight, what is wrong?

I told him nothing, things were going along pretty good.  He said the life in your eyes and in Jack's eyes is gone.......what is going on?  We  told him we were just tired.....lots of short nights.  And there had been sleepless nights after interupted sleep for incidents for both Jack and Mom.

He went back to something he said the first time he found out we were taking care of Mom.   He is more concerned about the caregiver than the patient.  The patient is taken to the doctor, given their medication, given good care.   The caregiver gives up appointments or doesn't make them for themselves because patients come first.  They don't get enough sleep and don't eat right.   The continued stress and worry breaks down the immune system and they are more suspectable to physical and emotional problems.

Oh well what else is new?   He told me to start thinking about 24 hour care for Mom.    I am not at that point yet......and I can't do that now.

INCOME TAX VS. OUTGO TAX

I have been trying to do Mom's income tax material so I can send it to the "tax man".  This is always an ordeal or me because I hate paper work.   I abhore paying bills, and keeping track of all this stuff makes me a little loopy!

I find that income is really a poor name it is really out go ........ It makes me GO OUT OF MY MIND!

I want to GO OUTSIDE  and do anything but this report to the government.

It seems that Mother certainly has more OUTGO than income, but the government has a different idea.

Jack is doing ours this  year.......no, we only get it all together for the accountant in California.   She loves the torture of this stuff and is much cheaper than Oklahoma!  She just puts out stuff in and pushes Oklahoma button and it works wonders! LOL well probably not so easy as that!

Well, I have quit for the moment.....it is snowing and much more interesting scene than the pile of papers I was messing with. 

I put cornmeal out for the birdies this morning and they have enjoyed the feast.   We have had a beautiful Cardinal-a redheaded Woodpecker- and a beautiful group of birds with yellow breasts and black bibs..........a horde of little black birds and the usual wrens, sparrows, doves, and others.   Even with the cats they come to enjoy what I throw out for them.   They are partial to graham crackers! LOL

Well, I need to find one more check and I am ready to go to stage 2 of insanity!

 

saturday's sunshine

Rain forcast for tomorrow but today is sunny and beautiful.   Did some outside stuff today. And hard to believe really tried to rest some.

Aide's son broke his leg yesterday so that is the reason she didn't come and services have not ceased...thankful for that!  Half of the cat food arrived and the meows were happy ones!

Saturday night.........shall we go out?