DISAPPOINTMENTS...............

Mom's aide had to make up some time this week so we thought Saturday was fine.  We were ready and excited about another 6 hours  together. 

 We  drove about 13 miles away from the house and Jack began to get sick.  We returned home and decided to spend a quiet afternoon. 

 Caregivers understand that the best laid plans can go astray.  So a good book, games on the computer, and a afternoon without responsibility can be restful and that was what I needed.

We will try again on Friday or next Saturday since that is Jack's birthday weekend.  His daughter wanted to fly in but complications seem to have come up....now that will be a real disappointment for Jack.

New Year's  Happiness for all of you.

 

 

A new year approaches..............

We just didn't "do" Christmas this year!  I fully intended to send Christmas Cards but each time I picked up the address book and box of cards I came to a full stop.   A number of fears and misgivings kept me from writing names on the cards. 

Earlier I had asked friends and relatives that we exchange gifts with to just not "exchange" this year.  Without time to shop and think about others' needs and wants........it put pressure where only good times should be.  Interesting enough everyone seemed to agree and I enjoyed the relief. 

There is always one who just has to give a bag of gifts and  this was someone new that was just intent in putting some cheer in our lives.  But I won't be drawn into an exchange next year.

Even our kids honored our wishes.  My daughter said it felt funny not to shop and send things but she said it was a relief not to have the pressure of buying packaging and getting things in the mail.  She did a magazine thing and said we could all enjoy those together.  We put wallpaper in their wallets and that always cheered the kids.

Dinner was very simple and I did do Christmas things for Mom.  A new top, getting her car fixed so she would be comfortable riding in that vehicle.  Some new nail polish....but no big things.  And for Jack and I there was nothing.  She didn't remember the girls and didn't seem to mind that she was not gifting other people that she usually gave Christmas checks to.  Actually she had to be constantly reminded it was the Christmas season.

We had a first at our little community church.  A Christmas Eve service early in the evening and the decorations and candles made it very festive as well as  serious.  Mom wanted to go and she enjoyed the beautiful lights.  She didn't understand that it was different in many ways that a regular church service but enjoyable.  She can't see or hear well and seldom sings during a church service, but she sang  "Silent Night" all the way through.  A lovely memory to hold dear.

Jack and I haven't exchanged gifts for several years, if I express a desire for something he usually manages to arrange for that item to appear.  One year I wanted pearl earrings and that  year his daughter shopped and sent them to him to give to me.  My daughter had given me pearls for my birthday and I wanted earrings to match.

This year he wanted a sweater vest to wear when he was cold or needed more when he went out, tho it arrived a bit early, we found one he liked.  Keeping Christmas simple has been such a help to me.  And not going to the extremes with decorations and wrappings has  certainly cut down on our trash output! LOL

A young man asked me what I got for Christmas and when I said,"oh, nothing." he was quite taken aback....why and I said there wasn't anything I wanted but some black crocs.  He thought that was funny and said he wanted lots of  STUFF.  I think that is the realm of the youth.  Most adults are not in that mode.  Somewhere this whole thing has gotten out of control and the merchandising industry has capitalized on our inability to say no.

I hope I have started a "new tradition" for our family and friends.  Give Christmas all year long in kindness and caring, small rememberances when they count, and the knowledge that love is the choice gift of the season.

Happy New Year and plan something interesting.  Jack and I have a bottle of apple cider and a cheese roll and crackers.  And maybe I will send some letters to people that I didn't send cards to.

26th ANTIVERSARY

We actually got to spend 6 hours together without others interrupting. 

We left the house about 8:30 a little behind schedule but had to enjoy a gift from a neighbor and pass a pleasant few minutes with the lady neighbor who helps me with the house and Mom. 

We stopped for the mail and then sailed on for an hour's drive to the nearest Casino.  This was my choice of activity because I can actually block out everything while playing the slot games.  Jack doesn't play so he cruises and looks for likely places for me to spend my $$$$.  

We were actually very lucky to find a place to enter the casino and keep the car nearby for any emergencies.  We only had to exit the casino once so   that worked out well.  However the casino was a little cool for Jack and we left about 12 and went to the Red Lobster to use a gift certificate that Jack received for Father's Day.

The restaurant was very easy to enter and exit.  The aisles were wide and easy to maneuver.  The management found a table for us where Jack could feel he was not in the way of other people.  They were very helpful and helping Jack position himself with the table.  They get an A plus all round!

We enjoyed the luncheon so much......since this was the first time Jack and I had been to lunch together since we have been here.  I am saying lunch being where we could sit, relax, and enjoy the food and service without taking care of someone else or having others with us. 

We have been here in residence now-------2 years and 2 days and yesterday was a first!  We returned home about 2:15 and the rest of the day went  pretty well.  At the end of the day  our little church, the only one in town, had a birthday party for Jesus.    About 8 kids and 8 adults.  Cake and ice cream was served and the neighborhood kids enjoyed that.  Small bags were made and given out several Sundays ago for people to put $$ in and those were given as gifts for Jesus.  The proceeds were to be used for a special project.  The pastor isn't preachy but she made the candles and cake a visual lesson to remind all of us to keep Jesus in the center of our lives all year long.    Nice day all round!

Merry Christmas to all of you!

Something you have always wanted?

Ever since mother has had an aide to do her nails, hair, etc., she has asked for red nail polish.  I really thought she was joking but she wasn't. I purchased several shades of pink from light to dark finally, I bought the reddest polish I could find and she loves it!  She has talked about her nails and shown everyone.  Something so small made her so happy.

Sometimes I suppose we don't listen well.  We decide what would make people happy at Christmas and other times.  We received a card this week with a thank-you note inside.  I had sent a Thanksgiving card to a young man who has several handicaps one being his mental age.  To see this young man who actually is in his 40's I guess, you would never guess his ability level.  But his mom had said he enjoyed the card and carried it all day, to the table at meals and to bed that night.  I understand her delight, when you see someone you love happy over something you are delighted and thankful for that enjoyment.  Knowing how much Mom enjoyed the red nail enamel made me think about listening more closely.

Happy a Merry Christmas!

Frealy Friday

Today is really freaky!  As far as we know there are no aides, no therapist, no wound nurses, no repair men, nothing happening here today except some winter weather...............we can sit at the windows and watch the snow fall, drink hot chocolate, and eat hot cross buns........if we had any! LOL

Have a good weekend from Marigold Country Home.

happy cleaning day

You have heard me talk about my neighbor who cleans for me.  Today she took off more handles and pulls on the kitchen cabinets and scrubbed them and then replaced them as well as clean the doors and drawers where they were......this is so lovely!

Her husband came over last night and took the ends of a couple of bulbs out of my microwave light.   I tried to take them out to replace them because they burned out.  They just twisted out of the sockets and left the screw part.    He cleaned the sockets out for me and he also was the one who put the screw in the brick exterior so we could hang a wreath this Christmas Season.   It is so nice to have good neighbors.......but I refuse to take advantage of the good neighbor policy and repaid him for his few minutes of goodness with his favorite drink........two 12 packs of Pepsi...Hee Hee, he will be delighted because he has an allowance when it comes to Pepsi and cigs.

I made two trips to get supplies to stock up for bad weather........hope I have enough of the right stuff.  Eleven thousand students in schools without power in Oklahoma City.  I have a full tank of gas in the van, batteries for everything, lots of water and juices, and stuff to eat..........we should be fine.

Kitties have developed warm furry coats so they are doing fine.........but they are like teenage boys.......they would eat all the time!  LOL

Take care from Marigold Country Home with a dusting of snow this morning.

RAIN........SLEET.........WINTER MIX

 

The thunder is wonderful and I love rain storms but this is a mess!  School will probably close.  Neighbor said she would come see me if there was no school, because her three boys fill up the house!  LOL

We have completed a week with an aide and it has been good.  She spends all her time talking and doing things with Mom.  Then Mom thinks I will do the same things but I just can't with all the other things pressing.  So at least she gets a lot of attention each day.  Four hours/ five days a week!

Jack has had a rough week, the pain management doctor increased his morphine patch.  I am anxious to see what happens.  So far he is sleeping more at night and that is good.   Why am I up at 1 am then?

We purchased another lift chair last year and this was the reason.  The control went out on the new chair.   The local agent switched the controls from the old to the new so Jack's chair would continue to function.  I have the irresponsible control and my chair goes up and down sometimes! LOL  At night I want it to recline............day I want it upright........so sometimes it is cooperative..........going to do battle with chair!

Have a good week!  Merry Christmas from Marigold Country Home!

IT HAS STARTED.............

Yesterday was the beginning of what I hope will be a happy time for MOM.  The aide came early so I could give her some specifics  in emergencies, and we were off to the doctor's appointment and SAM'S CLUB.   It was nice to be able to able to relax and enjoy our time together.

This has been the biggest problem since we moved back here is our time together.  About the only time we have to talk to just be is when we are away from the house.  That has become increasingly less and less.  When you have to hire someone to come "visit" while we are away, it often is just not worth the effort.  I have created a small network of available people and Mother has spent time with each so that is good.  Now we can count on 4 hours most days to just drive around, shop, or be together without interuption.

 The privacy factor is high on my list when it come to caregiving.  When I have tucked everyone in I expect to be able to read, watch tv, or just relax and nap.  This doesn't always happen.......last night is a good example........Mom can rushing into our room also known as the "front room" which it isn't but where everyone enters, and asked   WHO WAS ON THE PHONE?  The phone had rang earlier and it was a returned call, but I didn't think it was "a need to know" situation and side stepped the question.  She thought it was her grand daughter and was anxious to hear any news.........now that was sweet.  Karla always sends her "Karla Hugs" and she wanted hers!

I picked up a few pecans this week, Jack has been shelling and he says the activity with his hand seems to be helping the movement and the pain as well.  It is not helping the carpet......or my bare feet when I step on shells.  You cannot shell nuts without shells on the carpet, chair, in your shoes, down the neck of your shirt, in your hair, in the bookkcase, in short........everywhere! LOL But  if it is therapy then it is alright.  New carpet in the spring anyway.......going to wait till the mud and winter mess is over with hopefully.  And the nut meats are excellent.....really good for pies! LOL which I do not intent to make.....but might be forced to do so!

Peace from Marigold Country Home where theChristmas Wreath will be picked up from the florist and hung tomorrow.......that will be our only decorating.  My neighbor who helps me clean,etc, is bringing her "jack hammer" LOL to put a hook in the brick exterior of the house.

MERRY------MERRY!