Saturday, April 4, 2009

Good days and horrible days

I don't know what happened last Wednesday but when I went to get Jack to go to the wound clinic, another person was in his body.

I have never seen Jack so totally "out of it" in the years he has been ill. He could not navigate his power chair without assistance and that made him cross and sometimes down right angry. His eating habits were awful and I was shocked at how he was eating by putting his biscuit in his oatmeal and the butter on top of the oatmeal bowl cover.

That was just the beginning. I had put off his bath, etc. until the morning and he was not able to help me much with all the dressing and things we had to do to get ready. At the clinic he responded so differently they asked him if he knew where he was and he did respond correctly. This really frightened me and we cut part of our morning short so I could get him back to the nursing facility.

We discussed at the facility what could be wrong and they had changed one med which they said was only a pill he took when needed but they thought they might help him through some discomfort if they gave it to him on a regular basis. I have no idea what was wrong. They said they would contact his doctor and perhaps Jack would be better the next day.

That evening he called me and seemed his old self. He caught me crying and asked me why and I said it was just because I missed him so much. That was true. I missed the real person and Jack himself. This house is cold and empty when I am here alone.

The next morning he was fine and mentioned the previous day a couple of times because he realized something was wrong but he couldn't figure out what it was. I took him out yesterday and he was fine and hasn't shown any of the same actions since. But this is scary and painful to see changes like this.

This was a change that I was not expecting and it has really made me see that he is in a safe place and I could not have handled him alone at home in his condition.

I am beginning to think there are NO GOLDEN YEARS!


instrep1 said...

think of you constantly, so wish we could be there to hug you guys. love you both. God Bless you and keep you.

Patrick @ Caregivingly Yours said...

I wish I could wave a wand or something for both of you. Your entry brought back so many memories of the cognitive and memory loss changes in Patti and of course how I felt. If there is anything I have learned it is that you have to throw the 'Hollywood' and 'Norman Rockwell' fiction away. You two are building an uncharted and special future based on safety and care.

Caregivingly Yours,Patrick