Interesting day!

Iron scrap pile, about 20 years old, is finally cleaned up and gone! Yea!

Yard is in the process of being recontoured, bobcat tractor running around moving dirt.  Huge truck of dirt brought in to fill in depressed areas.

Plumber may not come in today, ours is not an emergency, but upgrading and preventive maintenance.

MOTHER IS ESTATIC.  I thought this would not be a good experience but she is having the most fun running from window to door watching all that is going on.  Later they will reseed the areas that have been affected.

I am exhausted coordinating all the activities, but now I can sit back and relax until time to pay the piper! 

PEACE in Marigold Country Home!

Kudo to spouses of caregivers!

 

 

KUDOS TO SPOUSES!

 

 

Reading Patrick's entry this morning stirred the gray matter and the emotions!

Kudos to the whole family who can let the spouse of the patient follow their career.

And I say special kudos to the patient who can let their needs be second to career building, income for the family, and "family stability".

I know that I had to keep teaching when Jack's physical needs had to be second  to my teaching career, I had to get in all the necessary time so I could retire.

It was "ours" but mostly Jack's decision to let me continue when in reality he needed more care than he received.

It is still Jack who often has his needs placed second to my more demanding mother and it is Jack who keeps his mouth closed and emotionally suffers when he sees me continuing in the position of "hired girl" instead of loving daughter.

It is Jack who has to share "me" and has a tired companion instead of a wife/caregiver who is ready to take him for excursions or dinners out.

It is Jack who had to also give up our home in California and the availability of his daughter  to move to this depressed part of the state of Oklahoma. 

 It is his days that are as boring and tiring as mine when he has to listen to my mother's commentaries about family, friends, possessions, and the weather! lol

I say Kudos to the spouses of the politicians who are running for president .  They are the ones who will secretly feel the reality that their spouses are putting their careers first and the silent personal fears that they dare not express less it 'discourage' or 'distract' the candidate. 

The politicians are givers of "caring" not caregivers because they have the $$$ to pay and provide professional  "caregivers" when it is necessary.  And in these cases it appears that stage has not been reached.  

 In my humble opinion "caregiving" is that emotional support and constant interaction with the patient that makes them the center of the "family" even when they are cared for in a nursing facility.  The question: Would these politicians still be career building if their wives conditions were more advanced?  This we will never know. 

Politics aside this has caused me some soul searching about more equal time for Jack.  I have questioned my position of "caregiver", am I being a caregiver or a custodian.  Some days I utterly fail at both jobs.

This was written after an exhausting and emotional conversation with my mother trying to make her understand WHY  I didn't take her with me to clean out her sister's garage.  It is the city clean up on Friday and the garage was full of trash and discards that needed to be carried away.  It was 'her' garage and 'her' trash and she needed to 'see' what was being thrown away.  Of course it has set there for years and we have a potential buyer who wants to take possession ASAP. 

After a restless night I am wondering if I was a caregiver for her or Jack, since all three of us felt the hurt and anger.  She was hurt and angry because I had taken over and I was hurt and angry because she didn't trust me to do the job right.  Jack was hurt and angry that although I try to do the right thing I am not appreciated and get emotionally upset.

TODAY ANOTHER EMOTIONAL STORM HITS!  The landscapers will be recontouring the yard with a bobcat; the plumbers will be invading our space to repair and upgrade; the city workers will be removing a metal junk pile that that my stepdad had built over the years. 

 There was a lot of planning to make these jobs spread out over a period of several weeks but a number of things caused all to come together on one day.  

WEATHER WISE: 80 percent chance of thunderstorms tonight......probably the same percent of emotional storms, also.

The caregiver/custodian has to make lots of difficult decisions and stick to them.  This job isn't easy! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What was in your Easter Basket?

We expected to find snow or rain for the Easter Bunny Day but nothing so far!

There were lots of Easter Egg Hunts......I don't have any interest in Easter Eggs.....unless they are jelly beans or chocolate.

We went to church and there were lots of families home for the holiday.  Here the kids were out of school Friday and Monday.

This has been a day of rememberance for Jack and I and a tad of the sad side.   The last couple of years have made big changes in our lives and taken the lives of many friends and relatives.  We miss all our friends so much.

So what was in our Easter Basket?

A  smile from those we love.

A  dream of those who are dear.

Greetings from miles away.

Peace in Marigold Country Home.

And a plan to have a Lindt Golden Rabbit in Gold foil and with a red ribbon---NEXT YEAR!

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday morning, cool, and clear!

We are to expect very low temps for Easter.  It never fails, get a new dress and put winter's coat over it! lol

Yesterday was a good day.   I took Mother with me to one of the towns where I get precriptions.  On the way back we stopped and bought fish for Mother's lunch.

Then, Jack and I went to the Whistle Stop, the culturally different restaurant that we love.  I had an Indian taco for breakfast and Jack was more conventional and had a ham and cheese ommlette. 

We took a short drive looking for Quanta Parker's Star Home near Cache, Oklahoma.  We drove through the wildlife refuge, the part with prong horn deer, buffalo, and long horn cattle.  Didn't see any wildllife tho! lol

We stopped at a Dollar General and got some Jelly Beans and then came home.  

  It was after 12 when we got home, and Mother had not eaten.  Later in the afternoon, Jack and I took off again and went after soft freeze icecream! What a great day to get out and away.  Mother doesn't deal well usually with our being gone.  I will have to take her some place today. lol...

Peace at Marigold Country Home! 

THE SKY IS FALLING............

After a day when I had little time to be off my foot, and an evening that I am sure was not a blessing on my blood pressure or MY mental state...............a cupboard litterly fell off the wall.  

This cupboard is in the handicap portion of the kitchen.  I had opened the door to remove a box of crackers and it ended up in my arms.

I screamed, my mother ran in and stood in my way trying to help me hold the cupboard.   I am telling her to move so I can move the cupboard out of my arms.  She is going to HELP me...........Jack came in and helped me move the cupboard over to a safe position..MY HERO!

I had to empty the cupboard on the floor, to remove the shelves which were quite heavy, Mother kept saying quit throwing things on the floor!  LOL  

Now where would I put it? There is no cabinet space since this is over the sink and dishwasher.............and nothing was breakable.........and the floor was clean!

Well, today I have to find someone to put the cabinet back! 

Looking for Peace at Marigold Country Home! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We heard this week about an older lady whose house burned and she had to be air-lifted to Oklahoma City to a burn center because of her injuries.

I think this might have really scared Mother because last night she stuck out her arm and said she was ready for her blood test?   I had told her if she would go to the doctor, he would take her blood PRESSURE  and listen to her heart and then he could recommend someone to stay with her while I went shopping,etc.   I didn't think the examination would be very intrusive. 

We have been trying to get her to this point for over a year.  Her agent said after 90 days  of prepscribed care by a doctor then she could go on life time home care.  This would be good for all of us.  And I could do some things and not worry about her.   Jack and I have not gone anywhere together in so long.  She doesn't like to go out to eat or to do so many things that it does hamper our enjoyment of an outting.

I hope this is the first step in making her days a little more interesting also.  

It is supposed to be 86 degrees today.  Off goes the heater and on goes the air conditioner!

Expect plumber today to see about preventive maintenance to outside  water lines to the house.  Then the landscapers will probably be here this week to work on the yard.  After that I think we can settle down to a quiet existance! LOL

 

 

This isn't good for the bloodpressure!

The adage that the caregiver has to take care of themselves first..........or they can't give good care is so right!  Jack has a blood pressure instrument to check his blood pressure on an as needed basis.   Mine is always low, but I decided to check it the other night!

Was I shocked!  The last time I went to the emergency room it was up and at the dr's office it was higher than usual.   Well it was up in that evening too.   I checked on line how to bring it down and then thought about why it was up.

Part is the constant frustration that I encounter all day long.  This morning is a good example.  I wake up a little after 5am and put the coffee on.  Decided to wait to feed the cats since they didn't seem to be making a ruckus so went to the computer.  A few minutes later Jack told me we had an emergency.  This involves a complete shower, change of clothes, dressing of wounds, and other medical treatments.

We just finished the almost hour long session when the lights went on in the kitchen and mother was up.  I had planned to fix biscuits and gravy for her and asked her if she wanted anything else.   No, but you know I have to hurry to get ready for church.  I asked if she wanted to eat first or after she took her bath,etc.  She said before but she really needed to go ahead.   I finished making the gravy and had the biscuits already ready so she could sit down.  I tried to explain that two hours was quite a long time and I thought she would have plenty of time for her breakfast and leisure cup of coffee.  Now she ate, bathed, dressed, and did all the things she had to do by 7 o'clock!  And I asked her what she was going to do for the next two hours since it was still two over two hours before she could go to church.   Well, the answer was she wasn't going to sit and wait, she had other things to do........????

The rest of the time I fed Jack, fixed something for myself, put together the week's meds for mother and Jack,  gave Jack his for the morning and put the rest of the day's where he could get them. 

Did two loads of laundry, and listened to her scheduled reports on the time........each time about 10 or 15 minutes later than the last time. 

 I fed the cats on the patio and those in the barn, walked around the yard and did lots of things to try to calm down.  Only to go back and see she had chosen something old and threadbare to wear to church.  She can't see holes, or even stains on clothing and I have to constantly check things out to be sure she will be decent! LOL

Of course in the middle of this Jack has lost his comb and would I help him look, he suggested the wastebasket where he thought he might have accidentially throw it, and I finally found it in the clothes on the way to the laundry.

After the continued reminders it was time for me to get ready, I am ready and it is only 9 am.  Church starts at 9:30am but we drive across the street because of all the water in the ditches...etc. and there is only one car there.  The church is cold and damp and they have only just lighted the fires.........another reason for not getting there 30 minutes early.

After church which included a baptism and first sunday communion.....one of the  members came up and said I am coming to see you........and my gracious and polite response was "WHY?"

She said just because I want to come see you.  I laughed and said when someone came to see me they usually had something for me to do......and she said no she was just coming to see me.  We both had a good laugh over my "why" answer.

  Now my suspecious mind doesn't work that way.