A day in my life....

2010-10-22T03:08:00.009-07:00

2010-10-22T03:08:00.007-07:00

2010-10-22T03:08:00.005-07:00

Jack is improved.............

2010-09-16T02:46:00.000-07:00

Avery nonresponsive patient.........became amusing, joking, hungry and thirsty on Wednesday. Medicine and prayers are a teriffic combination. He is not out of the woods and this is the third day which often means a rough day.......he was doing ok at three this morning but a bit confused and disoriented. The nurse said this was not unusual......and certainly not for Jack in an occasional situation (actually a lot of the time......drs say a lot of it is meds).

Jack is very ill........

2010-09-15T01:44:00.000-07:00

Jack was taken to the hospital yesterday........very ill. I had no idea it was as serious because the same symptoms had occured before and he had spent about 3 hours in emergency and came back to the nursing facility.

The emergency doctor told me he is "septic" don't know if that is the way it is spelled but he has an infection all over his body and in his blood. He told me I had the right to know he might not pull through this.

Several specialists were called in, his primary care doctor,etc in total four and they all said the same thing.........I called his daughter and she should be here today. My daughter is on alert if I need her but I have a strong faith just as Jack does and I feel he will pull through this illness.

We ask for your prayers and we know all of your are with us as we stand against this invasion of his body.

I knew this day would come..............

2010-09-13T13:26:00.000-07:00

I have always known that someday I would go see Jack and he would not have any idea who I was. Today was really the first when I knew for sure that he did not know me and my presence angered and confused him. After breakfast which was not enjoyed by him or me......much of it spilled, eaten inappropiately, or just refused, I knew I had better spend the rest of the day doing something else. Till he is over this UTI and is much better...........I seemed to set him off.

He was really upset when I didn't let him put salt in the sugar container! Hee Hee.......what a morning that was!

Thankfully they didn't put syrup on his french toast but brought a container........or sticky hands would have been the order of the day. When you use french toast as part of a sandwich..........it can get messy.

Jack has always been so affectionate and this morning he didn't really want to kiss that strange woman! Well, maybe that was good! Except I was that strange woman. I have to laugh to keep from crying..........work, sleep, reading, I have tried to keep my mind busy.

Well, there is always tomorrow!

PLEASE FALL COME QUICKLY!

2010-09-12T03:44:00.001-07:00

The hot nights and even hotter days have been around just long enough for me to look forward to fall. Fall or Autumn has never been one of my favorite seasons. Everything always seemed so drab and dead. But years ago we went to the East coast to see the colors and I really enjoyed that trip. What I have failed to notice that here in Oklahoma we have a vivid range of colors of our own. After the extreme heat and hungry grasshoppers my fall flowers have already tucked their heads and refuse to even look like they might burst forth in color........rats!

Well there is always next year!

2010-09-12T03:44:00.000-07:00

The Notebook............

2010-09-11T17:16:00.000-07:00

Well, I just finished Nicholas Sparks's The Notebook..............please do yourself a favor, and read it if you feel strong enough. It is a beautiful love story that is rare indeed but it is the story of what diseae and age does to the body and relationships. I thought it would be a short read but could not read very long at a time especially at the end. I actually feel better having read the book. I feel I am better equipted to say Good-by when the time comes.

There are times when one reflects on life and the road never traveled that lays ahead. Younger family members should read this book as a manual in dealing with aging and the aging relatives. Although fiction one feels that this book is probably more based on true facts that textbooks on a medical shelf.

Those of you who haven't thought about it.............it is time to write a notebook yourself on your youth. I was telling my daughter something about where I had lived as a child and she commented that she didn't know that.........and I realized somethings will become dust and gone if not recorded for our families to enjoy on a stormy evening in front of a real wood burning fire............not a fake fire in a fake fireplace.

Planted some new iris plants today........different colors.........filling in the enply places in the flowerbed and hoping for some bright colors. Mentioned I was going to an Iris Sale and my daughter discovered a whole new part of my life.

It is hard for my to imagine the generation who does not know how to hang clothes on clothesline. We have elected to keep the traditional and antique..hee hee clothesline in our backyard......things do smell wonderful after hanging on the line. And when the dryer dies there is always an option.

Jack is having some bad days.....I go but leave the nursing to the professionals. I am learning when I am actually better now at letting someone else take care of Jack. I am the visitor, the comfortor, the loving spouse, and they are the caregivers. (But I am the one watching and reminding and asking for.........still caregiving! lol)

loneliness

2010-09-01T02:56:00.000-07:00

The nights are long........the days sometimes are even longer. I spend a lot of time at the nursing facility where Jack now lives, but it still doesn't fill the empty void at our home.

The responsibilities of the house and the community felines just doesn't fill the hours well enough. I need a hobby that totally comsumes my attention..........

I have painted but have no interest there anymore.

I took some linedancing classes but my feet have had so many fractures since I have been in Oklahoma that they just would not hold up to the "beat"!

I read a lot but even that sometimes reaches a limit.

Any suggestions?

The phone rang at 3:45 am

2010-08-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

The nursing home called...........Jack had a fall, but he was alright. He is one of the many patients that have a star on their wheel chairs or power chairs because they tend to fall. He had trouble sleeping and had been to the nurses' desk.........back to his room and from his power chair to his lift chair he lost his footing.

I have learned to listen to the nurses and if they say he is alright I take their word for it and he had not called me so I didn't go to the facility. Although I didn't go back to sleep. Later he complained of this hand hurting and today mobile x-ray came out to check out the hand.....all seems to be ok.

Don't we all sleep with one ear for the phone?

When the phone rings..............

2010-08-23T16:49:00.000-07:00

Is it just me... or does everyone who is a caregiver, or has someone in a nursing facility or hospital, just always think the worst?

I still feel like a caregiver because I am constantly monitoring my husband's progress, changes in behavior, reactions to medication, and general well-being.

Sometimes he calls ( and gratefully he can still use the cell phone) and he is just not himself and the next time he is jolly and full of a funny story. Today I just have one of those feelings that things are just not right but can't put a finger on it.

Maybe because it is a full moon and the hottest day we have had this year.........when the heat indext is 112 degrees you just feel different. However, I just wonder how he really is medically. Even doctors don't always understand how a disease progresses in each person.

When the phone rings I always just want to expect a positive call, perhaps that is always the best attitude.

GOODNESS IT IS HOT!

Today....right now........that is the time!

2010-08-18T18:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes one begins to wonder about tomorrow........stop right there! Today is all that is important.

There will be good days when I can understand all that Jack is trying to communicate to me. There will be days when I have no clue. But the thing that he has never had trouble with are the words "I love you", and making that very plain.

There are times when we get so caught up in the 'what is' and 'what will' that we forget to just enjoy the 'just now'. A wise person told me once.........grab the moment and hold it close, that is the essence of memories.

I have spent so much time at the nursing facility the past year and a half that I feel I am a part of the building. The staff are good and try to do everything possible to make the residents comfortable. Sometimes we just are so focused on our loved one that forget that the patient needs to just be a part of the whole and not a "me".

I am learning to help Jack wait.........and waiting is difficult, but having every wish and whim immediately granted isn't good either. As the Parkinson's progresses the personality changes and impatience is the first emotional signpost I have been able to make out. Jack is impatient with himself as well when he can't communicate or move the way he wants.

I am also learning to judge what is fact and what is supposed fact. A good example is: Jack has just received his meds........a few minutes later he is complaining that they are late again with his meds.

From time to time I hear about the second story of the building and he has found how to get there. (There is no second story.) Sometimes I get call from Jack about a problem and after I drive 10 miles to the facility, he was mistaken, and greatly embarassed. Helping him through these painful times is just part of loving your spouse.

Most of all I am learning that showing LOVE is understood and communicated without any barriers in the mind. The brain can be a broken machine but the love cells still function.

The Oklahoma Irrigation story that you might have read in Patrict's blog was a reality but he would laugh that the irrigation ditches I dug that year are back and there is a constant drip into a large terricotta bowl and then there is the overflow under the elm trees for the "town cats" to lay in a cool damp place during the days of expreme heat warnings. These cast off animals are the furry things that keep my blood pressure low, my sense of humor in tact, and my cat food budget constantly strained. But my Mother (passed in 2008), and Jack constantly reminded me that these are God's creatures and not to let them starve............or get thirsty ..........or too hot! lol

2010-06-26T04:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it isn't easy to change things........isn't possible is more like it!

si

A Shower to cool the air........and make lots of humidity!

2010-06-25T03:45:00.000-07:00

Well, we received a welcome shower last night but the counter part is lots of humidity. When the nights are 80 what do you expect during the day?

Yesterday was not a good day for Jack. He had chest pains and his legs were so painful as well. The nurses finally told him that he could expect the pain as part of the disease and they would help as much as they could with medication. The chest pains seemed to be indigestion and when I alerted the nurses they took care of that. Jack doesn't want to be a complainer so he won't say anything when he is in discomfort. He lets me do that! LOL In fact he felt so bad he ate very little lunch but in the evening they brought him his evening meal and he was looking forward to it when he gave me the 5 o'clock call.

Days are difficult. I find that sometimes it is just hard to go to the nursing home. I know I will find problems, discomforts, and in general life breaking down. I understand why many don't go, although the visits are so looked forward to by the patients. The smells, the pain, the constant reminders that life is so out of their control. Some of us who are there everyday become hardened to the obvious and just look into the eyes and try to make smiles. I do lots of back rubs. One lady said, "She always rubs my back when she goes by and it feels good." I also give a prayer in that touch that the day will go well for that lady. Jack wants lots of smooches.......to keep him reassured that I love him. Sometimes their situations are not very lovable but the patients stay as lovable as ever.

I do a bible study every week,sometimes I forget to sign in.......like this week. I must do that! We have been trying to do a little craft project with the bible study. We made pots of flowers when we studied about the potter and the clay. This past week we decorated flyswatters when we talked about swatting the "flies" that annoy our daily walks with the Lord and with others. I found some bibles at a thrift shop.......many come to the facility straight from the hospital with few or no possessions.
The bibles are already finding homes. It helps to really know these people, and find ways to reach out to them. If I can inspire them for a few minutes every week, that is great. We average from 12 to 14 and that will grow I hope.

I have been going to an exercise class. Yesterday, I gave up early after 45 minutes of constant movement in a hot room, I decided I had reached my limit. We have a fan but it is just not enough to keep the air moving and do any cooling. I went right to the grocery store which I knew would be cold, and soon felt better. The heat and humidity are really wearing us down and summer has just begun! lol

Blessings on all of you........caregiving is a big responsibility. Mine has shifted somewhat but I still am constantly involved with my husband everyday.......usually twice or more depending on the activities of the day. The facility is 10 miles away but sometimes I just have to go back again! smiles No one knows the weight on the shoulders until they carry the load!

Father's Day

2010-06-22T04:58:00.000-07:00

Holidays are sometimes traumatic. I purchased a rather expensive men's Cologne for Jack for Father's Day. Well, we have had some things "walk", usually small things like room spray,etc. Sometimes his glasses disappear but seem to reappear with a little searching in nearby rooms or "walkers" pockets.
This time all the searching and questioning seem to turn up nothing. I happened to have the receipt because the store told me to return it if the scent was not agreeable to Jack. He is very sensitive to odors.
After an investigation they said they would give me a check for the item. I told them to forget it, things like this could happen with lots of visitors, etc. But they insist that is Jack's home and to take things from his home is definitely wrong.
I think they have some suspicions about the disappearance.
But otherwise the day was fairly nice........roast pork which neither of us like.........but I had a salad for Jack and we shared the vegetables on his plate....and I had made a cheese cake for him. We faired very well!

The symptoms are becoming more pronounced. Jack is very agitated, easily brought to tears. He has threatened the staff because they are not being good to him. His threats are to turn them in....to whom? Or into frogs? lol Anyway they seem to understand this is the disease.
His eating habits are really getting messy and he gets really upset about the food being wrong for his diet. Which is heart healthy. There are some mistakes but for the most part quite acceptable. Just not to him!
He keeps commenting "he is afraid". He can't tell what he is afraid of or afraid of what.......but I think he is feeling the loss of control of his life. Yes, that is very frightening!

Blessings for the day to all!

I Wish I Knew When the Storms...........

2010-06-18T15:13:00.000-07:00

I finally had a chance to talk to the nurses that were with the doctor when Jack said that the doctor said he could go home...............well, actually Jack asked if he could go home and the doctor gave him the standard I will talk to the family but at this time you need to be right where you are!

One nurse said that is a typical male.........only heard what he wanted to hear! But even though it might be funny to think about it after the fact it caused some loss of sleep and real worry. The head nurse said he wants to go home so badly that he heard just that. Yes, Jack wants to go home but I am not able to take care of him 24/7 like they can at the nursing facility. Actually I could not take care of him for an hour probably because he does need a lot of attention which he doesn't realize that he gets. Nurses are always patroling the hallways looking in rooms and checking on patients. He doesn't always see them and doesn't realize that they are there.

He has not mentioned the idea again so guess somewhere down in his heart he knows that this isn't a possibility. At least I don't have to address this problem today! The home moved Jack out of his room for about 4 hours, painted, stripped the floors and put on 6 coats of wax, did the windows,etc. They also wanted to shampoo his chair and came to the house and moved another twin chair up to the facility so there will always be two chairs for him to use. Also, there will be a place for me to stay if I need to, or can rest during the time I am there. Jack does not use a bed, but an electric lift chair that flattens out into a sleeping position. Because of his lack of mobility since hip surgery he is not able to lift his legs on to a bed and when he gets into bed he can not move himself about. He found out just how difficult that was again when he was in the hospital in August if 2oo9. With the lift chair he can sit up, stand up, then sit down again and lay back to rest.

The day they came after the chair he had a real meltdown.........said he was 80 years old and all he had was a room and two chairs to his name!
He had been "hearing about women who took everything their husbands had", and they were bragging about it! Another event with the brain playing tricks...this is happening more frequently. He hears, see, knows, dreams, or thinks about things until they become reality. The man across the hall has been saying his wife has all his money,etc. It doesn't take much to influence another patient or give them ideas. We have already been through the "another man" stage. The only other men in my life or the "gay (fixed) cats" that live at this house! lol

The stages of Parkinson's Disease vary with every patient. I am glad the nurses at the nursing facility are familiar with those stages. I sometimes forget to recognize something as just one of the things with go with the disease. This isn't an easy life.

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there!

new developmrnents

2010-06-11T03:33:00.000-07:00

It did shower last night.........but the biggest storm came by way of a phone call...........Jack said the doctor said he was able to go home???????????? There is a mistake somewhere! After a year and four months in a facility........he is able to be cared for a non professional? No, I am not able to lift this 300 pound man, cope with the sometimes violent reactions to anger, and professionally monitor his on going physical condition.

2010-06-11T03:32:00.001-07:00

2010-06-11T03:32:00.000-07:00

Those six orphans!

2010-06-10T13:33:00.002-07:00

One evening a young man came to my door and asked for help. He had found six kittens and a mother that had died not too recently. He lives in our town but isn't home much and he said he just could not let them starve and die. WHAT SHOULD HE DO? I suggested several options but not seemed to be available so you know what I said.......go get them. He brought them in a big box and they ended up in my bathroom. I got them to drink a little warm milk then took them to the garage and put them in my van.......still in the box. I planned to sleep not listen to kittens mewing. I carried those kittens around a couple of days because I was not sure what my old cat that lives in the garage would do..........I had often seen him hostile toward other cats.

I finallly gave up..........got another box about the same size and cut connecting openings and taped them together with grey tape. Covered the top with window screens that I seemed to have from somewhere, put them in the middle of the garage and covered them on cool nights. When it got hot the ceiling fans blew overhead. Well I lost two not because they were cared for but they were just too small and had gone too long without food. I was feeding one with an eyedropper. The absolutely amazing thing was they all except the little one went to canned cat food like crazy! I was thankful for that. Finally after about 5 or 6 weeks they were outgrowing the boxes and I had to made a decision.

They went to the barn and I fixed a new box with screens and a big pedestal fan right over the top. So far they are doing great. The box is just for security if some other cat comes to bother or another creature. It has a little opening cut in the side and watching them someout into the world for the first time was a neat experience. I found three other orphans and two of those survived making 6 furry creatures. They have the whole barn. They have discovered the automatic feeders with meow mix already there, pans of water and 9 litter boxes. This is what you call a deluxe hotel for cats!!!! They seem to think I am their mother and want to play when I go out to feed them. So far they are quite tame and will make someone a great playmate. I gave them a flea treatment. We seem to have a lot of tiny flea like things that are really bothering the cats and me after I have been to the barn. Is theysomething called grass fleas! Cable people are here........must sign off.

2010-06-10T13:33:00.001-07:00

Hee hee when you make a mistake.....go big time!

2010-06-10T06:42:00.000-07:00

I have made so many mistakes this week that I am probable the queen of error!

Couldn't sign into this blog..........then when I did I found two and didn't know which was which........one of those days when it was easier to create a new blog that argue with a computer! Well I hope I have the right entry!

I am off the continue to build a wider life........hopefully not physically. A neighbor asked me to go to an exercise type of class and I said that would be great........it really is a line dancing class........I have taught line dancing to elementary students but that was YEARS ago! I am calling it an exercise class because that is what it will be for me. Finding things to do to broaden the outlook on my exisitance in this small town is what I am trying to do.

I think I have mentioned somewhere and maybe I need to update my profile.....but I have been in LAY TRAINING and currently fill the position of lay leader in my small town church. My position was important since we have had no minister and Sunday we will again have someone in the pulpit. We have had ministers and lay speakers for the last 4 months and I have not enjoyed the added responsibility as a church leader. But I have learned so much........much I didn't want to know but it was part of the ballgame!

I have started the summer bible study at the nursing home and enjoy it so much because the people are so loving, supportive, and responsive. I guess last year my most talked about study was "What does the Bible say about Cowboys?" That one really had them going. Next Tuesday we are talking about CLAY POTS! I have been approached to take a Sunday afternoon service at least once a month because the present minister wants to branch into additional outreach. Eventhough I have been certified ??? as a lay speaker I am not sure this is something I want to do.

Time and the Spirit will tell me I hope........anyway Jack is about the same....he will see a doctor today and will get an update on his medication,etc. Yesterday I went to a restaurant and ordered two big taco salads for our lunch, we do take out often. Well was I glad I had made that decision because turkey casserole and squash with barely done rolls was on the menu. Jack told me that he had made up his mind to not complain but just eat whatever they put in front of him or just not eat. But when I mentioned the salad he was delighted. We both ate every scrap and enjoy the mutual company! Most of the residents had gone on a field trip to a local museum and we were mostly alone and it was a fun time.

Tomorrow I will tell about the latest orphans that I have taken in!

2010-06-10T06:39:00.001-07:00

A cool foggy morning.........sure to burn off into tripple digets!

2010-06-10T06:38:00.000-07:00

A cool foggy morning............sure to burn off into tripple digets!

2010-06-07T16:56:00.001-07:00

Monday, June 7, 2010DO YOU EVER WONDER...................?Do you ever wonder just what the future holds? Well, it is something we all do and yet we really don't want to know too much. If your family member is ill with a progressive disease like MS or Parkinson's Disease..........each day brings changes and more questions about the next stage of development. Jack is having some changes in his behavior and the changes come slowly and then wham they seem to explode! Right now he is very angry and upset with all the things that are happening. If he makes some small mistakes he seems to just react with strong emotion. Having a power chair sometimes isn't as good a thing as it has been for many years. The chair "all on its own will jump to a high speed"! Then Jack becomes angry and jams the chair into tables chairs or whatever is handy. If he backs into someone.....they ran into him.......(typical man? LOL) But dangerous if I were taking him out to a restaurant or entertainment. In the controlled environment of the care facility there isn't much he can damage expect other residents or me. I have had my feet run over and it's always isn't just a little thing. He has had a permanent cathater put in and it isn't working out as well as we had hoped. It is quite painful and something must be wrong. I hope the nurses and doctor can work out the problem for Jack's sake. His medication isn't always just on time and the results are muscles that won't work and a mouth that is so drawn aside that it is difficult to understand what Jack is saying........he also says he had difficulty breathing........some of this is the panic he feels when he is so out of control.I still go twice a day on most days..........it is getting so hot now I may cut that down because of the extreme danger to be out and about with the high humidity and heat index. Jack's daughter hasn't been here since last year and he would so like to see her. Her job and life style prevents her coming too often.For Christmas 2009 I made a wall hanging for Jack's room and it has all the things he has done in his life. Movies, plays, music, military, career, hobbies, volunteer activities and so many aspects of his life. It keeps him focused on how good life has been. Residents and visitors who drop in have something to start conversations and take away some good stories about Jack's life.This life alone is quite lonely to say the least for both Jack and I but we are making it day by day.............I looked forward to Spring now I am looking forward to Fall!

March marks a milestone..........or a year stone?

2010-03-11T04:15:00.000-08:00

Jack has been in the nursing facility for over a year now. I have to say that the professional care and social interaction is really great.

Care isn't as fast as Jack would like it and sometimes he gets really frustrated when an aide says " I'll be right back.. and doesn't come right back", but there are always distractions and sometimes people do forget to come right back. That is what that call button is for. But as far as the professional care.....it is good. Doctors advice is always available to the nurses and they come regularly each month and on call in an emergency. There isn't that need for appointments and long waits. If the nurse says this is an emergency......things get taken care of.

I was concerned when Jack caught a cold and had all the uncomfortable symptoms but I was assured he was taking medication to help his body fight on its own. And of course I caught the cold from him and wasn't so successful in making short work of the situation. Again it is reassuring to know someone is taking good care of him.

During the period when there was no power and water........I was comfortable knowing he was receiving care and generators were being connected. There were some night terrors until I could get a battery powered lamp to him but by that time the generators were rumbling along and THERE WAS LIGHT. The same situation with water made things a little dicy but water came on faster there than it did for the local area so again he was in good hands. Nursing facilities were at the head of the line for help in those situations.

The social situation in a nursing facility is always a plus. Recently there was a wedding and Jack was asked to be the "best man". The family picked someone else but the groom had chosen Jack. Currently Jack is trying to help another resident in adjusting to home away from home. Jack keeps telling the wife, that he himself had gone through those stages and he and I survived! smiles The resident cries a lot and Jack is a good listener. Everyone seems to look out for each other and check on each other even if they can't do much, they care. A friend of mine has her mother in the same facility. She is 107 and the friend is pleased with the daily dressing and grooming of her mother, in addition to the care.

The food is always a problem. Some love everything, others like Jack are critical and picky but that is fine. He knows some things he should not eat and sticks to his guns about dark meat, gravy, heavy sauces, and lots of carbs. Most residents in this area like those southern comfort foods, but Jack is a salad guy instead of a meat and potatoes man. I supply lots of cottage cheese, fresh fruit, and sometimes crackers. The wife of one of the residents brings Jack goodies and that is wonderful....she stays and chats and that is a boost to morale.

I am usually at the facility twice a day. I do not take him out anymore. I cannot do it physically and he isn't always able unless his Parkinson's meds have been given recently. Also, there are sometimes emotional and physical changes occuring quickly and beyond my abilities.

Jack needed a new power chair but Medicare will not provide one for someone in a nursing facility. The local store provides a lot of help with the chair and they found a "almost like new" one that is exactly like the one he had so we made a seat switch and same considerable $$$$. A rental was 13 dollars a day until the switch was made and it was different and more difficult to operate. I have noticed that Jack isn't quite as accurate with his power chair and a lot of bloody knuckles, bumps, and "runs into" are on the list these days.

I have been doing the April scary deadline tax (lol) and am shocked at the amount of medical deductions there are this year. We are private pay and that takes a toll on savings accumulated over the years. Hope Uncle Sam has a gentle heart this year when it comes to returns.

I hope I can keep the blog up to date now........life seems to have lots of interuptions that keeps me from writing......or wanting to.

COME QUICKLY SPRING!

There is nothing like the crisp crunch of leaves drifted into piles

2009-10-20T20:03:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I posted. Things are evened out somewhat. Jack spent a week in a Behavioral Center because he had made some statements about seeing his deceased mother, sister, and brother. This scared some nurses and they reported the statements to his primary care doctor who recommended a psych evaluation. At the end of the week I asked what they had discovered. The doctor said, "He has Parkinson's and some dementia that goes with the disease."

Since we have known this for some time, I felt the time had been a waste. However I was wrong. The doctor at the behavioral center and the neurologist, consulted and came up with a medication that smoothed out the emotional problems and didn't do much for the physical. But I had been told that when you work on one area the other will become a problem. Right now he does well enough if the gets all his medications regular and on time. Because the nursing facility hasn't had many Parkinson's patients they have had to be educated on Jack's problems with the legs. If he does not get his medication for Parkinson's at least an hour before Jack wished to transfer to his power chair and go to the dining room or anywhere else, the muscles in his legs freeze and he just can't move the legs. We are finally getting through to some of the staff that thought he was just kidding about being able to move. With several shifts and lots of changes it just seems communication isn't always effective.

Jack has also had a cyst on his right hip for a number of years. Earlier this year a surgeon told him it was not a problem and could be removed or not , he could choose and of course Jack said he would just cope with it. Most of the staff really didn't know about the problem and when he ask to sometime stand and reset in his chair.... they thought he was just being troublesome. Even one of the main nurses didn't know the cyst existed. Until I called her to come help me move Jack and look at the area since he said it felt wet. It began to drain and treatment has began to heal up this area. I am glad it is healing but it is very painful and the treatment also quite painful for Jack.

Just today he said his hands would not do what he wants them to do sometimes and he becomes very frustrated. He is finding these symptoms come and go and last usually less than a day. I quit taking him out because the ability to use his legs, his hands, and the sudden onset of fatigue created a greater problem than I could handle by myself. We miss our outings and I know that I could hire someone to go places with us but I still don't feel safe taking him out of the professional environment.

Jack has been in the nursing facility for almost eight months. It is still difficult for me to stay at home. I have breakfast with Jack almost every day and usually go in at least twice every day. There have been two days I have missed and those were very long for both of us. The professional care has really improved his condition. He had some really bad situations but generally he is so much better.

The cooler weather and the wind gusts that sent the leaves swirling across the lawn and creating piles of color, are both welcome. Maybe the change in the season will bring some new things to look toward.

God's Speed and Blessings.......

I AM STILL HERE!

2009-08-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

Sounds like I am shouting. Well, perhaps that is the way I feel. Things are not going well, and I am relying more and more on those who have been through this experience with Parkinson's.

Stages come and go and I keep stumbling over the remains of each day. I understand more about my mother and how she strugged to just get up and go though the basics of sunrise to sunset. I keep looking for something to really replace thinking. I loved the casino with Jack but can't take him now and it is too expensive for regular therapy! lol

He asked for a comfortable rocking chair in his room for me and I find I can take a book to read and fall to sleep quickly. But for Jack that isn't much fun watching me sleep, he says at least I am there with him. I have missed one day since he entered in February and that was because of the flu that I caught right there in the home.

Keep my in your prayers....for us it is just one day at a time.

A busy week..............

2009-06-22T04:46:00.000-07:00

Today is fairly open..............Tuesday Bible Study (lead by me) Wednesday take Jack to neurologist and Bible Study in evening, Thursday Audit committee meets to "do" the church's books...Friday take Jack to Wound Clinic (hopefully this is the last visit) When wounds are both completely healed......Dr.Lee says Jack can take a shower....it has been 7 months!!!

Living alone these last 4 months have brought some changes. I am certainly more careful about things that could end in an accident.....like climbing ladders. I carry my cell phone in my pocket and sleep with it. I panic when the phone rings. And I am not as neat and tidy as I thought I might be if I lived alone....thinking oh well who will notice but me and the four legged felines.

And I really am trying to learn to stay at home.........this house is so cold emotionally and lonely that I rush around in the morning to get out and go to the nursing facility and then to do anything that is on my "list" of needs to do. I need to learn to stay here and really do some things about cleaning out closets and emptying out drawers of stuff.

Well, it is almost 7 and I am hurrying to get out of the house....will I ever change?

When part of you is missing................

2009-06-20T18:12:00.000-07:00

Created a long blog.......and accidentally hit the wrong key!
Oh well, you only need to know that things change and life changes and yet it is the same.

The Parkinsons progresses....Jack isn't happy in the facility but he is better with the care and the environmental advantages.

I am lonely just like Jack, this isn't easy for either of us.

Those of you who have experienced this understand......those of you who have not as yet.......will some day understand. And yet I hope you do not have to suffer this kind of separation.

The Fourth of July approaches.... HAVE A BLAST!

2009-06-20T17:13:00.000-07:00

Each day holds precious minutes.....

2009-05-30T18:46:00.000-07:00

Jack is still doing fairly well. Night terrors, confusion, and other problems seem minor to the results of withdrawl from one of the medication he was taking.

We have chosen to make every day special in some way. We go a lot, take walks (me walking=Jack chairing). Shop a lot, eat out, go to church, work with music and just enjoy quiet times together. My daughter calls it our honeymoon again. And perhaps it is the eye of the storm before something else happens.

I really feel it is the lull before the storm but hoping the storm will be not so severe and we can continue to enjoy our lives. Someone said this week that Parkinson's is a cruel disease. What disease isn't cruel in some way.

He enjoys working with his music and getting back to that is like therapy in itself. He walked quite a bit for awhile but his legs because so tired and weak again that he has slowed down again. I understand that the legs don't really return to the former strength. He doesn't know this.

The wounds on the legs are very near a complete healing. We are anxious to have that day arrive because then Jack will be allowed to take showers again. It has been 6 months. His doctor said this week she just didn't realize the difficulty of doing without showers-- that she tells her patients with wounds. She just returned from National Guard Duty and had a week without a shower and she realized anew how difficult her requirement was.

Tomorrow is another special day. We will spend time together. It is Sunday and he will come to church / dinner and music in the afternoon. He has invited people from the home. Some staff has said they plan to come and a resident will come with us. It promises to be a good day. Everyday has to be special now.

HE'S BACK!

2009-04-18T18:03:00.000-07:00

He is back! Jack isn't home but his confusion is mostly gone. We put him back on the anti-depression drug and he is doing great!

He is sleeping well most nights and I don't get those scary phone calls in the night from the nursing home.

I have been eating lunch with him in the dining room and he is now going there on his own. Service and food is like a nice restaurant and quite a change from the tray in his room.

I am a much happier camper!

confusion and falls

2009-04-13T18:03:00.000-07:00

This has been a difficult week. Jack has fallen a number of times with many bruises, bumps, cuts, and more confusion.

I don't know yet what is causing the problems. I don't know who the strange man is who lives in my husband's body. I have spent many hours during the middle of the night at the nursing home.. Have had all kinds of calls and now I dread the phone ringing.

During a great thunder storm I was called out this week because they thought maybe Jack should go to the emergency room. He had fallen at 2 am the day before and they thought maybe he was more injured than they thought. The pains were all old ones and he just really wanted to see me... see how I have spoiled him!

Sometimes he is perfectly fine and a bit later he is totally confused and talking about things that even I have difficulty putting in context. We take him to the wound center tomorrow. The nursing facility will send someone with me to help...bless them!

Times are difficult.. I know I can't bring him home like this...yet that is his and my greatest wish. But I want him safe and secure until the doctor dismisses him.

Good days and horrible days

2009-04-04T18:16:00.000-07:00

I don't know what happened last Wednesday but when I went to get Jack to go to the wound clinic, another person was in his body.

I have never seen Jack so totally "out of it" in the years he has been ill. He could not navigate his power chair without assistance and that made him cross and sometimes down right angry. His eating habits were awful and I was shocked at how he was eating by putting his biscuit in his oatmeal and the butter on top of the oatmeal bowl cover.

That was just the beginning. I had put off his bath, etc. until the morning and he was not able to help me much with all the dressing and things we had to do to get ready. At the clinic he responded so differently they asked him if he knew where he was and he did respond correctly. This really frightened me and we cut part of our morning short so I could get him back to the nursing facility.

We discussed at the facility what could be wrong and they had changed one med which they said was only a pill he took when needed but they thought they might help him through some discomfort if they gave it to him on a regular basis. I have no idea what was wrong. They said they would contact his doctor and perhaps Jack would be better the next day.

That evening he called me and seemed his old self. He caught me crying and asked me why and I said it was just because I missed him so much. That was true. I missed the real person and Jack himself. This house is cold and empty when I am here alone.

The next morning he was fine and mentioned the previous day a couple of times because he realized something was wrong but he couldn't figure out what it was. I took him out yesterday and he was fine and hasn't shown any of the same actions since. But this is scary and painful to see changes like this.

This was a change that I was not expecting and it has really made me see that he is in a safe place and I could not have handled him alone at home in his condition.

I am beginning to think there are NO GOLDEN YEARS!

2009-04-04T18:14:00.003-07:00

2009-04-04T18:14:00.001-07:00

SNOW

2009-03-28T05:48:00.000-07:00

Those of you in the east often see this white stuff but we don't get so much that we aren't a bit in awe at the clean beauty of snow.

But the darn stuff is cold and then it melts with the sleet and it is slick!

Jack is celebrating one month in the slammer! Or that is how he feels sometimes. I just called and said I would wait until the roads were safe before I came up to see him and he said take care of myself that he was snug as a bug. I asked about snow there and he said he could not see since his windows were frosted over. He has an excellent view of the interior court of the facility. There are birds, cats, people and interesting happenings there.

The resident has a visiting dog. Actually he belongs to the owners and since they are both working there or at least not at home, the dog has picked out a resident with a nice big blanket covered chair and sometimes does an over nighter. Darlene the resident came to the facilitiy with a broken hip and a pronouncement from the doctor that she probably would not walk much again. Well, she not only has recovered with the excellent care and help of the facility but is now helping others there. She has not returned to her home. She hasn't told me but I suspect she gave it up as well as her dogs and other pets. Now the visiting canine is her special friend.

Yesterday we tried a new adventure and visited a local restaurant with a handcap accessible rating...ha ha ha ha! Well we did get in and of course I had to use the suppliment I carry for thresholds that are too high. The place is "SWEET THANGS". No I didn't misspell that word. And it is as rednecked as it sounds. But their coffee, hot tea, and pecan pie are not too bad! And it was an outing, adventure, and we were out when the first rains hit! It hit like a raging storm and you couldn't see across the road. We left when we finished our repast and the rain had let up.

The day before we went to the HOBBY LOBBY. A place where you could spend a day and not see everything. There were having 50% off sale and things looked good. We bought some plastic easter eggs to stuff..... I have now stuffed 10 dozen for our church's Easter Egg Hunt. Of course I have made Jack stuff eggs, too!

The roads seem to be clearing so I am off to rescue the prisoner of Snyder! lol

Time passes.............

2009-03-19T05:02:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be the first day of spring and Jack's third week at the nursing facility. He knows almost everyone there and their names, their kids' names, and all their life history! I am stretching that a bit but he has become well acquainted with many. He is like the father confessor and place to stop and chat. He has containers of sweets and anyone who has a sweet tooth can help themselves.

The staff have been very helpful. He became confused one night this week and ended up slipping out of his chair and onto the floor. He said three or four of the female staff grabbed him stood him up and put him right back in his chair. This man weighs 300 pounds and that was no small task. At home I would have had to call out emergency personnel.

We went to the wound clinic and took the "ride along" neighbor to drive. She was well compensated with $ as well as a good lunch at the Santa Fe Cattle Company Steak House. This restaurant has been so accommodating. Of course we try to plan our arrivals at a not quite as busy time if possible but the staff are quick to find a place where Jack is comfortable. And the food is really great. We have had opportunity to try a variety of the offerings on the menu.

Today we are going for a consultation with a surgeon for a fatty cyst. How big and how deep to see how to take it off of Jack's posterior. This will be the next big thing we have to do.

I took Jack a fan yesterday evening because it had turned so warm and his room had a breeze but a hot one. The fan did help as well as a cold drink and a pleasant visit! lol

Must begin the day, the list is long and and there is much to accomplish. When I am at home the phone rings and then the doorbell rings. I may be to go somewhere else to rest.

Cold Front

2009-03-10T17:41:00.000-07:00

We have enjoyed such beautiful spring weather and now we have a bit of winter again. Still no rain. We are so desperate for some of that wet stuff.

The cold wind is blowing and I am by myself except for my 2 feline friends. One of our household went out Saturday morning and did not return and as well as he enjoy good food he must have met with foul play. We miss Herkie our youngest feline member. There are lots of playmates for him in Kitty Heaven.

Jack has had his touch of the flu bug... as I did since we have been at the nursing facility. It is almost impossible to miss it with so many sick. If we didn't get it there we certainly picked it up at a doctor's office. LOL This morning I had quite a job waiting for me when I arrived at the home. A good bath and took everything to the laundry to clean every blanket or pillow in the room.

We are not going to the wound clinic this week. The nurses at the home will change his dressings on the legs. Next week we will take a ride along with us to the clinic. I want to go to get the car tuned up tomorrow if possible and get Jack's phone checked. It keeps talking about the voice mail box not activitied and hangs up! LOL Jack is missing some calls.

This is such a change in my life. It is taking awhile to adjust just as it is taking Jack time to adjust. Both of us are learning to take one day at a time.

Caregiving never ceases

2009-03-04T03:23:00.000-08:00

In the last 5 days I have been home only to sleep or feed the animals. Hope this evens out because I am really getting behind on so many things. For the first time I have lost a bill and have no idea where this has gone.. It is like the sox in the dryer. No clues!

Yesterday I had the car serviced...the first time since August. This has been my life for the last 6 months. I purchased Jack a cell phone and found that it works great but we have to figure out how to answer it... at least he didn't answer it last night! More inservice. Jack has never used a cell phone. I have always done this.

We went to Lawton and signed the guest book for a neighbor's grandmother. Won't even be able to go to the funeral. We are taking( at least that is our plan) Jack to the wound clinic. With both of us maybe we can do this. We have to find out what happens if we can't get him to those appointments until he is stronger.

I have done the bathing and pouch changing during the last 5 days. Until there is an inservice this is being done by me and in an emergency by a nurse only who is supposed to know how. The aides have pleaded no knowledge. Why not if you can get away with it! lol It has been fine with us but when I am not there... they will be in charge.

Jack's daughter has been here to stay with him during the days and that has been a big help in the transition. It will be really lonesome when she goes but he will have lots of people around him. Everyone has been great and so helpful. So far...so good. Jack's daughter is ok with where he is... that means a great deal also.

Well the day started at 4 so guess I am awake by now...have a pleasant day.

Caregiving in a care facility

2009-03-01T02:59:00.000-08:00

My husband entered a care facility on Friday. Friends and neighbors helped move his personal furniture to the facility. Electric lift chair which he lives in (sleeps as well). Wheel chair, power chair, potty chair, things we thought he would want/need. This was not easy because as I find each day there are the little things that we take for granted to be at our finger tips at home.... are not there somewhere else. Well it has taken a couple of days but most wants are there. I am not lonesome here alone.....because I have been here so little of the time. Helping to transfer has really been a big time consumer on the road and at the facility.

Jack's daughter will arrive tomorrow and I hope her being with him all day will help me have time to do some things that have been pending for quite a while, like income tax, Mom's estate, my stepfather's estate, etc., etc., etc.

This is a difficult time for both of us. Thanks for your comments and encouragements.

Another milestone

2009-02-27T19:03:00.000-08:00

Today Jack was taken to emergency room after a fall.
From the emergency room he went to a nursing facility. This is not a happy day.

continued...guess who hit the wrong key!

2009-02-21T05:54:00.000-08:00

Saturdays are really great! People with jobs love the weekends.... if you are retired it is just like most other days! For us they are catch up days. I can never really get caught up but it means that there will probably be traffic through and the coffee pot is already on and the biscotti (chocolate collection) is ready. So I need to pick up and put away all the stuff that seems to be left out over night. We must have bad fairies that scatter our belongings during the dark hours.

Happy weekend to all of you.

Too much catnip!

2009-02-21T05:47:00.000-08:00

New scratching board...lots of catnip on board....too much I am thinking! My computer mouse just hit the floor!

This is a brisk morning and the temperatures are in the 30's. Everyone is either still under the warm covers or running around bundled up. We are having enough wind to blow the chairs from the front porch. I had to go get them (still in the yard) but a distance to replace them stacked this time. Last night I decided to give the shop/barn/cat house a sweep, litter box cleaning,etc. Found a fairly large possum in one of the boxes taking his daily snooze. Interesting enough the cats didn't seem bothered but didn't bother him either!

St.Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T05:21:00.000-08:00

This morning the to do list is long!
The first problem was giving the cat her capsule. Yesterday a neighbor insisted she could do it, but Goldie did not want that thing in her mouth!

This morning I had a capsule/pill thing that would work, hee hee was not designed for Goldie. Since he is better he can reject that capsule with more strength. Well, it took an expensive packet of tuna ,but Goldie ate all of her portion with medicine out of the capsule... and the others thought this was a real valentine treat!

There is a Valentine Dinner tonight that I have to cook for: 2 side dishes and dessert. Prescriptions from a nearby town and time to rest I hope. Didn't sleep very well last night. Some nights are better than others. We caregivers also always have lots of laundry!

If you know of a substitute for a telephone please advise. I want something that only lets those that I want to talk to get through...but to read my mind so to speak and decide which someones I want to talk to that day~ Today I have already had phone calls about people who want to come visit....yea! they called before they came.... more about the dinner tonight at the church...pepole asking me questions like why is the storm siren going off today, I had not heard it, called someone who is probably the one to ring it... don't know what those people heard but it wasn't the storm whistle! Guess the severe storms we have had... they are getting nervous and hearing things! Information about people in the hospital...etc. STOP PLEASE! I have work to do!

Busy weekend.. have a happy one!

All in a day's headache!

2009-02-12T14:23:00.003-08:00

After calling three calls to the company Jack's prescription insurance decided to recognise him! Of course there was no problem in January but in February he was an unknown! Well, we become agressive phoners when there isn't any response! Again is this my job to keep these big companies on their toes?

My first cup of coffee and my computer mail hit me hard! A dear cousin of mine and niece of my mother's passed away this week. She was a very special person and we will all miss her. It has been four months but I had a lot of grief still stored up in me. Mom and I would have shared coffee and thoughts of her together.

Then I decided to take Goldie to the vet. He is the most affectionate of our house felines and has moped around and not eaten for a couple of days. Doctor found a probable infection and administered shot and antibiotics and an amazing amount of love and cuddling. And someone is always telling me to go to a cheaper vet. Well that is like taking your kids to a doctor that they don't like. Goldie is still moping but had some chicken broth and milk. Isn't chicken soup supposed to cure everything?

The wound clinic called and want Jack to have a complete battery of blood tests.......so at the crack of dawn we will head for the hospital and then out to breakfast at the 'CRACKER BARREL'. Haven't been there in years...but Jack wants to look at a large rocking chair. They display lots of rocking chairs on the porch of the restaurant.

Well, the day draws to a close.......heat goes on.............doors close and the world rests, sometimes.

2009-02-12T14:23:00.001-08:00

And then there were the goats!

2009-02-11T14:12:00.000-08:00

What an interesting morning to look out and see cats running in every direction. I could only imagine a pack of dogs that roam around town often. Nope these were goats. Not wild goats. Nope pets that wanted me to pet them, scratch their ears,etc. I wanted to get them out of the yard and home where ever they belonged. They were cute but a bit playful with their little horns and sharp hooves! I found someone who knew who they belonged to. When those little critters heard that familiar voice they took off before I saw anyone around. Well they had such a good time that they came back! But this time I knew if I called "Annie" the mommie goat the others would follow and of course they did right home and to the door of the owner! Now really is this my job?

Jack saw his cardiologist this week. A good report and took away the Plavix. It is so dangerous if there is a need for emergency surgery or an accident. So glad that is off the list of prescriptions.

Today we went to the wound clinic. The doctor asked why Jack's toes were all messed up. One with a blood blister and the other big toe loosing the nail... We said this is the parking lot here. The blacktop is so rough that Jack often hits his toes on the rough piles of blacktop where is itsn't smooth or at the entrance and exits of the ramps! He can't wear regular shoes to protect his toes because of the bandages and his toes just scrape the roadway often. Now again the medical field is the last to know how to prepare for the handicapped!

But the second graft of "baby foreskin" is doing well and the wounds are looking much better! Yea for some things!

Protesting.....writing letters..... complaining.... all these things are so slow to get results especially when a doctor owns the offices where the wound clinic is located. You would think they had better hearing for these problems. In fact the director of the wound clinic said Please do everything you can..... we have tried to get things done here!

Happy Valentines' Day!

When the cats are smarter than I am!

2009-01-30T05:30:00.000-08:00

Last Friday Jack and I discussed the bales of hay I had in the yard and the fire danger. I agreed that they really needed to be removed but I was concerned because the Mama cat and the kittens were missing and when they came back their home would be gone... the other cats were adults and could fend for themselves, but it had to be done.

The neighbor boy wasn't home from school yet so I went to the shop/barn to get the old flyer wagon that mom had and there was the mama cat and the babies! Her look said it all.... how come it took you so long to find us! Well needless to say the 6 bales of hay... patio furniture and cat table created by the neighbors a couple of years ago were all moved to the barn/shop and all by this lady. My plan was not to leave anything that would encourage a cat to spend any time on the patio.

Of course I had plenty of help and the four legged inspectors checked each item, it's placement, the blankets, old pillows, boxes of hay, and compartments made by the bales, everything. All the feed containers and pans were placed around the room. The 10 litter boxes were cleaned and new litter added...... you know the bad weather hit that weekend.

Monday was so bad but we had a doctor's appointment so we started and two miles out of town our windshield was a sheet of ice.........time to turn around. We cancelled and made a new appointment. Schools are cancelled. Tuesday is so bad we called and cancelled the Wednesday appointment to only find the doctor's office would be closed and they would not have any patients that day. Schools are stilled closed. We tried for an appointment on Wednesday afternoon but roads are still bad. Finally we got an appointment for Thursday afternoon at 3:30.

I hired a ride along neighbor who really likes to drive so I let her! (smiles) The roads are fine but the parking lot where the clinic is located is filled with deep ice and snow. In fact the sidewalks in most places are not cleared and we were in a quandry about how to get Jack's motor chair into the clinic...our driver bless her goes in and gets people to move.... helps the laundry truck load and clear the way to use the handicap ramp....we down loaded Jack and had to help him because his chair was really beginning to skid and slide in the ice....but we made it... coming out at 5+ it is again frozen and icy... but the parking lot is cleared of cars and we pull the van right up to the sidewalk and onload Jack from there. Our driver was surprised to see the ramp was so versitile. Stopping for fast food was a real hazzard! And getting home at 7 was a nightmare of ice and slippery walking. But these vans are great.... I can outload Jack on the sidewalk at our door and then drive directly into the garage.

I had fed the felines extra at noon before we left and told them see you in the morning! LOL They were really waiting with eager appetites this morning....These strays and discards are really spoiled! I wonder if I could get a government grant to take care of these mouse, rat, and bird eaters...but then I probably would get in trouble because what they were catching and eating might be protected or endangered.... yeah, any of the above are endangered in this neighborhood.

Sunshine in the middle of winter.........

2009-01-17T10:49:00.000-08:00

When you think of sunshine......I immediately think of the warm rays of the sun warming the chair where I sit or making patterns on the carpet.

To the handicapped it might mean an opportunity to get out without the frigid wind and cold temperatures. To the caregiver it means all an opportunity to just walk around the yard and inhale the freshness of the day.

Sunshine is also one of the best medicines to push away depression and heartache. My husband is often depressed because of the inability to do what he has always done and the lack of mobility to move where he would like to go. This morning I asked if he would like to go out into the sunshine for awhile. To move around in the yard and watch the feline residents at play.

He declined the invitation because of pain and general discomfort. Perhaps later in the day another opportunity will arise. A caregiver may feel such awakening and infusion of energy and strength in the sunshine but a patient doesn't always respond in the same manner. We have to wait and try again and hope for a change in emotional wellness.

Sunshine awakens the plants and brings new life upward and we all want the same thing for the patient. That feeling of renewal of life in the patient would be rewarding for both the caregiver and the patient. Just watching the felines that inhabit our yard you would think spring had arrived on the morning sunrise. The small kittens at play and the adults resting on the bales of hay that I have added to the yard in special places for windbreaks gives your heart a surge of good feeling.

Yes, you read that correctly. I have added bales of hay in places in the yard to provide windbreaks. Later this spring those bales of hay will retreat to the barn/shop and some will be broken up to add mulch to the flower beds. This is the first time I have purchased hay for the windbreaks but it seemed a good idea. I even like to go out and perch on a bale of hay and hold a cat or rub the back on another feline that is sitting beside me.

Just to keep the record straight. These are not my cats. They are the refuse of the unthinking people who give their children kittens and later abandon them to starvation or the wild animals. All I provide is an opening into the shop/barn so they can get away from dogs or other wild things, plenty of water (ice broken in the winter) and food (dry, canned, and table scraps). I have also constructed temperary shelters behind the trash cans and behind the hay and under benches so they are generally out of the wind and worst of the chill.

Yes, it is costly but the enjoyment and entertainment that is provided for my husband has far exceeded the cost in my estimation. We have had 2 males fixed! This I didn't know... that the males are the most affectionate of the sexes and make excellent house cats. My mother had a house cat that now lives mostly in the car garage because of her/his nasty attitude toward all others, sometimes even humans. That cats plenty of petting and attention when the other cats are not around. There is a young kitten that may also get to the vet soon because he has lived well with the other two. He came in originally because he was sick and has stayed a lot of time inside.

It has been a beautiful day. These are rare in the middle of winter. The sunshine has been warm and full bodied not thin and unfulfilling. Hope your sunshine has made you happy as well.

2009-01-17T10:48:00.001-08:00

2009-01-17T10:48:00.000-08:00

why visit the handicapped/NOT without a call first

2009-01-12T05:46:00.000-08:00

Too often the doorbell rings or some knocks and the patient is in the middle of a bath or isn't feeling very well. For a while I used signs on the door and still do but people who just drop in have to realize some of these times are not good times.

The caregiver has to balance hospitality against patient welfare and at times this is difficult. I just love it when someone says," just go ahead with what you are doing I will set here and talk to you. Sure I am doing medications for the week and making mistakes are not the best for the patient. I always check each day to be sure the medications are correct. But it is inconvenient to always go get the med bag and redo a days medications.

"Just go ahead with what you are doing".... giving the patient a bath? No it isn't possible. We need space and sometimes we need things from the room where you are sitting and opening doors reduces privacy for the patient.

" Just go ahead with what you are doing", fixing the meal for the patient and his eating in front of you isn't always pleasant. Sometimes there are spills or other mishaps that are embarrassing. Besides I like to sit down and eat or have coffee with Jack when he is eating.

" Just go ahead with what you are doing." Taking a nap that you just woke me up from so I can be more alert tonight. Now I won't be able to finish the nap and the patient might have a cranky caregiver when awakened in the night! LOL

" Just go ahead with what you are doing". Well we were getting ready to go to the doctor and your sitting here talking to us makes the check list of things NOT to forget a little less effective. Besides we take about 10 minutes to finish up things and get into the car.... you are sitting in the way and I hate to say please leave so we can because we are on a tight schedule.

Is this only at our house? Sunday mornings are getting hectic. We have a drop in guest most Sundays who come for coffee and chat. This means I have to rush to get the house ready.. the coffee on... myself dressed for church.... Jack ready for the day....etc. Jack sometimes has a drop in guest that sits with him while I go to church, I need the coffee fresh and ready and something like coffee cake ready.

If people would just call ahead and ask how Jack is feeling and if it is convenient for them to drop by for coffee and chat.... I would be thrilled and I would seldom say no but I do wish people would respect our lifestyle. It is different from theirs and one day they may have the same frustrations.

Christmas on the receiving end.

2008-12-25T17:26:00.000-08:00

It is so enjoyable to be on the giving end during the holidays. We enjoyed making the food baskets and delivering them. Giving gifts to the unsuspecting. Just the kind of little things that surprise and warm the heart.

Today we were on the receiving end of blessings. We had to call the paramedics at 1 this morning. Jack fell and because of his size and knowing if he is injured helping him up might be harmful. I called 911. The first responder was a neighbor. The second was the son of a neighbor that I had had difficulties with because of his dogs which love to kill other creatures.
The paramedics and the others helped Jack up and checked him out and he is fine except a little frightened, very sore, and not sure just how it happened. But he has had a fairly good day.

The other blessings were three families brought food to us so we would have a good Christmas dinner. Well we will be eating for a week but the food was prepared with loving hands and good hearts delivered it. We feel very blessed.

The day was not cold and windy. The sun was out all day and it was pleasant and again we felt very blessed since so much of the nation was not so pleasant.

We didn't have family but we had friends and our girls called and made our day blessed in that way,too.

I hope all of you have something to be thankful for today and feel as blessed as we do...Happy Holidays and Joy for the coming new year.

Whether to recommend or not...that is the question.

2008-12-21T03:11:00.000-08:00

Have you ever recommended something to find out later that it didn't turn out well for the person you recommended the idea or thing to? Well, I am always reluctant to recommend anything but recently I recommended the facility where Mom was to a friend. I also recommended that she and her family go visit un announced several times at different times of the day.

I am happy to say that they followed my advice and finally decided to place thier mother in the same facility. They are happy to know that she is receiving better care than they could provide and that is is extremely happy. The lady just had her 106 birthday at the facility with a big party of family and friends, a large beautiful picture and write up in the local paper, and the family not only praised the facility but thanked me for the recommendation. Whee...sure am glad things worked out well.

What they liked was.....the facility didn't have lingering odors, the patients were encouraged and assisted in going to the dining room to eat and be with other patients, the rooms were cleaned and beds made as quickly as the patients left for the dining room. Patients were bathed regularily and dressed daily and encouraged to wear perfume and jewelry and always look their best. Mom's hair was done regularily and neatly brushed and cared for daily. They had volunteers and employees who did nails and aroma therapy with lotions and creams. Laundry in facilities is always a problems but there are fewer than most here and I was allowed to go to the laundry and look for items or ask if they were in the cleaning process. The lady in charge was caring and quick to label clothing and see that it was returned quickly to the patients rooms. The food was actually good. And prepared and served per patients needs. I could not have asked for more attention paid to Mom's food intake and nutrition.

I have to say that these all are good qualities of a facility and often cause families to leave the patients and not return very often or at all. Mom had a lovely roommate that passed and the aides said they had never seen a visitor since the lady had been brought in. Some said the families just brought them and left them because they were state cared for....but in Mom's case she was a full paying patient. But the care for each was the same. The aides talked to the patients and joked with them, sang with them, and became the patients family. I liked this because Mom felt loved and part of the people there, and she enjoyed the people around her. These are the things I looked for and hope if you are looking for a facility.. that you can find the same.

Of course you have to do your part of checking often, visiting often, talking to the administration, nurses, aidies, and letting them know how much you appreciate the care they are giving your family member. Actual signs of that appreciation in the form of candy, cookies, and other goodies was always appreciated.

It is the season for remembering..........

2008-12-11T16:50:00.000-08:00

This will be a quiet Christmas for us. We will be alone but that isn't new to us. Our girls are in California and they were here in October.

It will be lonely because Mom isn't with us anymore and I do miss her the way she used to be during the holidays. We always did so many things for others and I want to continue that tradition but not so much this year.

I haven't started cards yet......... I hate to write over and over that we lost Mom this year, and Jack isn't doing as well, we miss our girls, and I don't have enough hours in the day still. But perhaps I can say all of that in a more positive way. It is the season for remembering all the good times and memories that we have made. And hoping to not only make new memories but to dream of good things to come.

May your holiday be joyful, full of fun, and overflowing with friends and family memories. Hug each other...share a memory...and remember the reason for the season.

2008-11-24T13:21:00.000-08:00

The sunshine is thin and not too warm but it is there. The breeze brings the wind chill to an uncomfortable level. Thankfully we are not scheduled for snow, and those of you who have snow.... you may keep it!

Food baskets occupied all of last week. I am so tired of boxing canned goods and other nonperishble foods that I could scream. The people who need this food though are so appreciative. We have found only one sour note and much could have caused that situation. We have been called a number of things.........'enablers' so people can spend their food money on less desirable things. Our reply was they probably would have anyway and we are mainly trying to provide food for the children.

The turkey eating day approaches and it has lost so much appeal this year knowing there are so many hungry families. Our dinner is always simple anyway but still there is hot food on the table. And to many it might look like a feast. We have come to know so many more of our neighbors in this project and that is such a blessing.

The local fire department is totally voluntary and there have been many attempts, some very successful to support these men with water, funds, and our appreciation. They recently had a chili lunch on Saturday and raised $2500 for their needs. They have made 76 runs this year and most because of a 'fire bug' that might have already been apprehended.

Because we are an aggricultural region, we have had a number of state agencies working on the investigation and hope this will soon be concluded. It is scary when the trucks go out knowing they might be going to a pasture where many cows are in danger or where precious pasture is being burned off taking the food for those cattle. These farmers are not big farmers and they need all the pasture land they can obtain and maintain for their herds of animals.

May your holiday be filled with joy, may beautiful memories be made, and precious time with friends and relatives be enjoyed. We will be thinking about all of you as we sit in this small prairie town in the southwest corner of Oklahoma. Not even the barbed wire can slow down the wind as it builds and then sweeps down across the land. Showers are forcast and that would be a wonderful thing also. Herkie the youngest of the tom cats that has invaded our household sends his meow along with Lonesome and Goldie. Fuzzy, granny's cat so misses his lady that held him most of the day, but all will have some turkey and a lot of loving on Thursday...Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

Leaves...............

2008-11-13T13:04:00.000-08:00

The breeze carries them across the lawn and dumps them in all the wrong places. I try to gather as many as possible to mulch and cover the plants that are threatened by the coming cold weather.

However, the leaves are much more interesting to the cats--to chase--roll in--and help me rake. I can't help but laugh at the antics and feel the thrill of the coming fall season........the crispness in the air and the scuttling clouds are harbringers of the season.

We have been looking for people who need or would appreciate food baskets for the coming holidays. We thought we had a town that was pretty well taken care of until we began to ask questions. It was easy to find people then. They are so proud that some won't admit that they need help. Our real problem was we didn't know our town's people very well. A neighbor and I drove around talking about different houses and who lived where and who might need a basket.

I finally took the matter in hand and went to visit a couple and when they opened the door I laughed and said I had come for lunch.....she looked startled and said......a cookie? Yep, that was lunch--coffee and a cookie. I chatted a while and then said I didn't want to embarass them but could they use a food basket? "Oooooh yes!" was the reply. I was so saddened that we had waited until the holidays to determine if our neighbors needed help. It occured to me that it is 2 weeks till Thanksgiving....guess they can eat those stale cookies till then.....I have way too much to eat... and my neighbor has way too little. How ashamed I am.

How well do you know your neighbor?

There was bright sunshine..........

2008-11-04T18:42:00.000-08:00

The sunshine wasn't just the weather kind........the day was as good as it gets usually.

We voted and I did so rather rapidly and was glad that I failed to remember how I voted on a rather tight angry contest locally. Glad I don't know how I voted, can't kick myself or brag either! lol

We rushed off to the hospital for lab tests and then were finished for the day. The rest was play time. The neighbor went along and insisted on driving so I let her! We went to lunch at the Atlantic Bread Company. It was a good time, not crowded, and plenty of room for us to move about and Jack to not have his space invaded.

Then we did the Sam's Club deposit of our money! Filled the car with our goodies and started home. Picked up two prescriptions and got home in time to relax awhile. I made a trip to the county seat to buy a few items we could not get this morning and did a little business.

A neighbor brought over some freshly cooked turnips. I don't usually eat turnips but these were delicious. I have such good neighbors. Another neighbor gave me garden fresh summer squash that were just beautiful. Too pretty to eat maybe....maybe put in a still life setting and paint a picture?

Finished Double Cross by Patterson and now have to find another book to read. For my birthday, my daughter sent me exactly what I asked for: all the books she had been reading. In fact she sent 3 boxes of books.

Good night all of you....I am off to read and relax!

HAVE THEY NEVER HEARD OF HANDICAPPED?

2008-11-04T01:55:00.000-08:00

We did survive another day of torture!

I hired a neighbor to ride along yesterday when we went back to the clinic and for further tests. She would have gone without pay, but I do not believe in taking advantage of a neighbor's good nature. She works hard for her $ and she is worth every cent she is paid.

The appointment was exactally on time, in fact a couple of minutes early. However, the appointment to clean the wounds, take vitals, ask dozens of questions, then the doctor's viewing and pronouncements, and the treatment tech doing his job actually took an hour and a half. When I saw they were running way over time, I spoke to the tech working on Jack and then the receptionist who called the hospital and informed them we would be late but were on our way! Then the tech said it would take 20 minutes to finish, the receptionist called the hospital and asked if they would be removing the bandages, yes they would, so she stopped the treatment, and then there was the wrapping the open wounds, etc, preparing the medications so I COULD DO THE TREATMENT, and we were finally on our way.

I asked the neighbor to drive and she took us right to the door of outpatient care and Jack and I rushed to reception to get out all the cards, answer all the questions, get a wrist band ( which really shook Jack thinking he was being admitted) then shuttled off to a waiting area. We had time for a restroom break, with neighbor to stand guard at men's restroom, then into another waiting area. We were called in a group, of course Jack is frustrated and could not get chair to work propertly, he went too fast and then too slow, and finally I had to run ahead and tell the "tour leader" that we were having trouble keeping up...... again she is totally into the walking patients...........and totally ignoring Jack's problem of keeping up. Because of Jack's chair's size we had to take two elevators, think neighbor had a chance to remind the tour guide that not all of were walking patients! Another waiting room but a tech came immediately and got us.

The test was absolutely torture for Jack to lay on a hard table with the steel hip, which was already giving him lots of pain, but the techs here were helpful, patient, and into helping the patient be comfortable as possible. I gave Jack medications half-way into tests and he began to relax.

Neighbor picked up the car and I stayed with Jack, then we were off to a quick stop for hamburger and buns for the neighbor's hungry boys, and she drove home. Of course the evening chores were yet to be done, feed the cats, chase off pit bull dog who was chasing cats, owner came with rope finally, do the treatment on Jack's leg (which involved boiling water and cooling it) and prepare something for us to eat. Our last meal had been at 9 in the morning and it was 7 in the evening.

Yes, I did make a statement to one of the techs in the doctor's office about the lack of time permitted for a handicapped to respond to different situations. That even an able bodied person with a good power walk would have difficulty,etc. He said that discussions about the care of handicapped people, facilities available, and other considerations had often been the topic of discussion but not much was changed! At the hospital the complaint was the wound care center was always sending them patients that had wounds just dressed and had to be undressed for the tests and they had no way to cover the wounds.....etc....that the wound center had been asked to send patients first for tests and then to have wounds treated but nothing had changed.

Communicaton seems to barely exist between the wound center and hospital even if they are under the same guidelines and administration.

TODAY WE GO AGAIN.........first to VOTE.........then lab to do blood work..........then to shop if there is any energy left! The neighbor asked to go along because she wanted to shop also without her family along...lol.........are we that good of company?

I haven't slept much but have an extra driver and person if I need help.... so wish us luck!

2008-11-04T01:54:00.003-08:00

2008-11-04T01:54:00.001-08:00

I am going to spend time with Jack...........

2008-11-01T18:28:00.000-07:00

Told our pastor that I would not be in services tomorrow; I have the best of reasons.
I am going to spend special time with my husband.

We had a particularily bad time at a new wound care clinic last Friday. Although a medical field they have no concept of the handicapped patient. We left home a few minutes after 8 am. I knew they would have a stack of history to complete so we did arrive early and started on the paper work. We finished at exactly the time of our appointment. Our drive time averages 50 minutes to an hour. So we have really made an effort to be ready at 9:45am. However we sat and waited until 10:30 till we were taken into a another room to continue to wait. We saw several different people who did numberous things and asked numerous questions. Finally we see the doctor who reasks the same questions.etc.

Diagnosis............prescription......treatment..... appointments..........it is almost 1pm before we are able to leave........of course there is no one in the building but us and two staff members trying to do their job. I wasn't feeling well, and Jack was tired of sitting without opportunity to change his seating. Each time he tried they would ask what are you doing.... where are you going.... you can't leave...etc. All he wanted to do was hold on to something sturdy and resit just to give his body a small change.

Of course we have to get a prescription filled and the pharmacy does a rush on it.. but it was after 2 when we finally got home. Needless to say we were both exhausted. Jack said I was cross and rude to the poor girls who were trying to do thier job.. They did explain they were short on staff and long on patients.......IS THAT OUR PROBLEM?
What really upset me is here we have a hospital care unit and they have no understanding of the problem of a handicapped patient.

They scheduled our appointment on Monday at 1:30.... and would TRY to get us out by 2:30 so we could made the appointment they made for us across the street and in another complex 15 minutes later. Of course would be hard for someone able bodied and doing a power walk....if they can find a parking spot. I can see Jack and flying along the sidewalk and down the halls to a reception area to be reassign to another place. I think I will have to hire a ride along to take Jack to the reception area while I hunt a parking spot... can't use valet because who can say when we will be done and they close the parking area and you have to hunt the place where they take the keys,etc.

Now this isn't all...they suggested we come earlier in the morning and doing lab work that should take some time. Of course...come early... bring a picnic basket, a bed roll and plan to stay. I will be calling on Monday to explain that we will be making another hour drive there and back on Tuesday to do the Lab work because I won't make Jack spend a day sitting in that chair. People who sit a while move around... move to another place... walk around.....not sit there and wait and wait and wait when there are often sores on his bottom from just such situations. Geesh...and this is a hospital!

I might be crabby and rude all over again! smiles

still a caregiver

2008-10-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

I am still a caregiver! Now there is one and not two. Caregiving included going daily to the care facility to visit and check on my mom. Since she is gone (it has been 2 weeks now) I have Jack to give all of my attention to.

The girls are all gone home.....the notes are almost all written.....some notices keep coming of donations given in Mom's memory. There are some dishes to return still. The house is almost back to normal. Whatever normal is or was it yet to be determined.

But for the first time in three years I am sick. Have sinus infection or allergies or something and it has really socked me right between the eyes with all the symptoms of sinus. The worst being a headache.

Friends bless them are still coming by........today someone found a picture that THEY thought belonged on the wall above my buffet in the dining room. She bought this at a garage sale and cleaned it and hung it...........how do I tell her this won't work? ha ha Another came by and brought something from the nursing home where Mom was.........a blanket that I looked for so Mom would be warm.....now I guess I have to deal with this.

Grief has stages........not sure which stage I am in.........not had time to grieve, denying grief, maybe delayed grief, but when it comes I am sure I will recognise it. At the moment peace reigns.

A woman can change her mind............

2008-10-20T04:38:00.000-07:00

I didn't think I would feel like writing but I have been so overwhelmed with the love and kindness of my neighbors and friends I must say something.

All of this is really new to me and I had difficulty trying to think when making plans but interesting things have happened.....when I could not think of pallbearers, friends suggested someone Mom really thought a lot of.... I am fairly new to the area and didnt know these people.

When I worried about trying to have something in the house because the girls would be here and I didn't want to think about cooking.........it was needless because friends began to bring in food to eat....hot or cold....some that would keep till after the funeral and the days of doing business, things that would really tempt the appetite that had been skittish of late, thoughtful things and delicious desserts.

The pastor came over Sunday to help finalize plans, had a bit of lunch, and was there when we went to the airport to pick up Jack's daughter. She was still there when we returned; I finally figured out the WHY, so none of the family would be alone. Such thoughtfulness still is beyond the words of thank you.

Of course there are the drop in visits and kind words, the hugs, and the sincere actions that show such caring. Then there was the lady that my daughter told that we would love to have her come by the next day because everyone was so tired......she waited till late in the evening when it was convenient for her and knocked on the door...smiles....was she getting even for not being allowed in to see Mom the day she died? Who can say?

Peace reigns right now because I am the only one up... smiles!

Like a butterfly the spirit floated away on the breeze...

2008-10-17T17:29:00.000-07:00

This afternoon Mom's spirit drifted away and left us broken hearted but the knowledge that she has crossed to a better place without pain gives us comfort.

Taking care of arrangements is a very new experience for me and I am finding our friends and neighbors are kind and helpful. I doubt that I will be back for awhile...........Peace!

Spirit of the home...........

2008-10-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

I have tried to bring a new spirit to this house. I wanted Marigold Country Home to be a house of hospitality. I wanted friends to feel free to drop in for coffee and to sit awhile for a chat.

The neighbor who cleans for us and helps me so much is also a dear friend. I told her while we were cleaning yesterday that I wanted the house to say welcome to my daughter in such a way she would not want to leave. The friend said that already was the situation and we laughed at the absurd idea that my daughter could just "decide" to stay. The friend that said something that touched my heart. She said, "This house feels like home to me, I like to come here because I feel happy and welcome."

Of course the fact that the house smelled like the "Dump Cake" that was in the oven and the coffee pot had just finished brewing didn't take away from the feeling of warmth and welcome. Did we sample the cake? Are you kidding? And at the end of the day had I given all of it away except one piece for Jack? You bet! Maybe Charles who had a sample and a cup of coffee and took away some for his family enjoyed it also. Oh, and the pastor had a container of cake for "laters". AND THIS MEANS I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING TO SMELL UP THE HOUSE AGAIN TODAY AND TOMORROW AS WELL!

Sunshine in my window..............

2008-10-16T12:34:00.000-07:00

The rain, clouds, and gloom have vanished and the sun brightens up the day.

I checked in on Mom this morning. They had gotten her up for breakfast since I usually arrive at that time. She is always more alert and responsive at that time of day. Today was discourging because Mom wouldn't even sip a bit of Resource and she didn't respond to my talking to her. It is always so selfish on our part to want the patient to acknowledge our greetings. Mom was rather aggitated and I think she wanted to talk but could not. I stayed and gave her hugs and kisses from Karla and I and talked to her. I have read that even though they do not respond they often KNOW we are there.

A friend went with me yesterday to check on her and the friend was surprised and really pleased to see that Mom looked so comfortable. Her eyes opened when we talked to her but she made no move to respond to us in any other way. She had had a bath and hair was blow dried, she had a couple of warm covers on her (Mom was cold all summer it seemed). The room was clean and there were no odors except a pleasant lite aroma of a disinfectant spray. The neighbor called my daughter and told her that her Granny was being well cared for. The head of nursing told me that were getting her up in the morning because that was when I came and they thought it was wise to get her up at least once in the day ,at least for now, if she was not too uncomfortable.

Tomorrow Mom will be 91 years young. She always seems younger to me. I will take a treat to the staff. Mom won't be celebrating but those who care for her deserve a special thank you for all of their efforts.

The grief process.............

2008-10-15T02:20:00.000-07:00

The nursing center where we have Mom have been very good to lead us into the period of saying good-bye. The grief process is painful for most and the staff has been careful to take us one step at a time. Yesterday afternoon they planned to move Mom to the room next to the nurse's area so they could keep a close eye on her.

Mom has been not eating well at all for several months. But she loved Ensure and the Resource at the nursing facility. Yesterday she refused the resource and further nurishment. I have gone up almost every day to feed her breakfast or to check on her later in the day. Some days I have gone several times just because I couldn't stay away. Lately I often found her asleep and knowing that was time when she was not in pain or uncomfortable, would not wake her. Yesterday they had just put her to bed and I stayed with her till she dropped off the sleep. I had handed her a soft stuffed animal and she clutched that and quickly relaxed. That was the first time she had showed any interested in the furry cat.

I called my daughter and together we talked about when she could come and things we needed to do. We both cried and later she called back that her employer said she could come whenever I called and asked. She had been here in February when her granny had surgery and remembered the good talks they had and expressions of love.

In the afternoon I went to the funeral home we had selected and asked a few questions. The owners grew up across the street from my Mom's home and it was easier to talk to someone from this small town who knew Mom. That was a big step because it seemed so final. I am finding that it is difficult to stayed focused on everyday things. I keep drifting off into memories and then the tears start.

Today is a new day and much to do for the living so must put the grieving aside for a little while. Peace.

2008-10-15T02:19:00.001-07:00

How do you say good-by

2008-10-09T17:49:00.000-07:00

How do you say good-by to a friend. Do you hug? Walk them to the car, or out on the sidewalk?

How do you say good-by to someone you love?

Do you hold them in an embrace? A kiss on the cheek? Do you hold their hand?

I thought I was getting stronger or maybe more stoic. I am not sure.

I know when we used to visit and had to leave Mom and go back to California..........the embrace was sometimes tearful but often warm and dried eyed. Maybe we just were afraid to cry.

Saying good-by isn't easy for anyone, especially when it is final.

In the hands of destiny...........

2008-09-18T18:57:00.000-07:00

Almost three years ago we came to this last frontier. The first thing was to find Jack a doctor. We asked around and a couple of people mentioned the local clinic. They said the doctor was kind and thorough.

This year the doctor has been in the local clinic for three years and was named the Rural Physician of Oklahoma 2008. Wow!

We thought this guy who made home visits and was so good with my 90 year old Mom. was special. He was thoughtful when dealing with Jack, and adamant about me taking time for myself. We certainly picked a winner. Of course there will those who can find something to criticize but that is human nature for some.

Sometimes you win, hands down! Peace!

THE SANDS OF TIME SHIFT AND CHANGE

2008-09-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

It had been over a month since I have put anything into this journal. Things are changing, some good, some not as we would like them.

Mom has been in a nursing facility now for over three months. Most of the time she seems happy and content. She has had some bad days that caused me to very grateful to the staff. Most days she knows who I am and is glad to see me. I seldom miss a day going to check on her and rubbing her back, giving lots of hugs and kisses, and other endearments.

Here at the house I am dealing with the aspect that Mom won't be coming back here to live and am trying to make small "baby step" changes. To be more radical would difficult without some guilt feelings.

Jack is having more health problems and knowing Mom is taken care of so well makes my work here much easier. He encourages me to go see about Mom each day. I sometimes hate to leave him because of some difficult he is having but to not go takes away the help he is trying to give.

Many say they understand the choices that I am having to make and I appreciate their concern and sympathy. When you miss the man who sat next to Mom at each meal and learn he became ill and passed this weekend; her roommate is missing and she too is gone; you want to hold on to each moment that we share.

Mom doesn't talk a great deal and it is difficult for her to make her thoughts understandable but the smile is still there. I think all the people around her helps keep her from loneliness and boredom.

Peace reigns!

What does it mean to be homeless?

2008-08-11T16:32:00.000-07:00

I have laughingly said many times that Jack and I are homeless. In reality we are. This is mother's house. We live here we make improvements and repairs and pay for them ourselves. But some things are never open for change.

We have in the past had guests that were sent to bed by my mother. Some she had openly refused to visit with. And some she did not want us to invite to the house. This is not our home.........we did not have many options.

She did not like some of the music Jack played. She definately had likes and dislikes and perferred the music to television. And although we paid the utility bill covering the television she complained that it was on all the time. This was not our home....sometimes it is uncomfortable to go against the grain and often compromise is not an option.

We painted our room and she said it certainly didn't need paint, we were wasting time and money,etc. This is not our home and her vision capabilities often didn't make her fully aware of the need for paint.

We needed to move furniture to help Jack have access to the rest of the house. She did not like the idea but approved after we went ahead and did it anyway. Sometimes it was hard to be as stubborn as she was! LOL

We liked certain foods. She did not like to go out and she perferred other foods. I found I was sometimes cooking several extra meals a day to make everyone comfortable and happy. Again this was not our home.

The biggest issue was privacy. Although there was a door separating our room from the rest of the house, it seemed rude to close that door. If we were bathing, I had to always go and tell her we were bathing and we needed the door closed for privacy. Often at night she would come into our room and wake us or sit awhile. I would awake to find her bending over me asking me why wasn't I getting up...hee hee (always in the middle of the night) or she would just start talking and wake both of us. This in truth was not our home.

My daughter and I have talked about her sharing the house with us and we laughed about all the problems that could occur even though we are all family. And again, how would she feel, it isn't her home either!

Peace!

2008-08-08T04:52:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since the last post.......and again it has Rained! We were getting well toasted with tripple diget temperatures...the highest 110. The Great Plains really is warm this summer!

We have lost lots of kitties this summer, guess the heat and the upper resporitory problems have been the major problems. Lost 4 just this week and expect there will be more before the weekend.

I am learning to deal with grief I guess. Mom is doing well and seems to continue to be comfortable and happy. Doctor has threatened to come to the house and see the wound on Jack's leg that the therapist have been treating for almost a year. It is healing but the therapist ask for recertification order and a culture prescription so he asked questions and said if he was not satisfied with the answers he would come to the house. He didn't say anything about Jack coming to his office..... guess he thought it was too hot! (smiles)

We had plans to go out today but the rain has stopped us and it is an all day forcast. Jack does not like to take his power chair out in the rain........it isn't like he is splashing down the street in mudholes or puddles but they told him to not go out in the rain......so we don't!

I have a good book, lots of cleaning of closets and dresser drawers, a estate house to clean out, cabinets to clean and dishes to sort for charity, I can think of a million things to do........so will just rest maybe! LOL

Peace!

RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN

2008-07-29T13:54:00.000-07:00

RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN.............it had been so long since we had a shower that I walked around in it and did all the things I could think of to stay out in the rain.

The baby kitties and some of the older felines were quite upset because of that wet stuff messing up their hair.......but it only made mine curly!

It isn't much cooler and it is humid.....but who is complaining! Peace!

Kitties in the park!

2008-07-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

Someone asked about the kitties........You would not believe the numbers! We have had two big fires in the neighborhood and the kitties have relocated to our area. We still have those who come from blocks around to eat and drink fresh water and lay in the cool grass!

I don't count anymore I just put lots of dry food and fresh water. The babies get a cold milk coctail hour about 4 in the afternoon! Of course the mothers always join in also.

This is the year of the calicos. We have several now and have lost several this year. Some of the kitties have been sick. The vet says it is an upper respiritory infection and they get matted eyes and runny noses and some survive and some do not. I am always bringing in a little one to wash out their eyes with warm water.... used peroxide for a while but it must have really hurt some so just use warm water. They hate that bad enough!

This past week all the babies and their mothers disappeared for several days. The mothers would come in and eat and lay in the shade and appear to look for their babies. I was sure someone came and picked them up or a preditor have gotten them like the big hawks they sit on the highline wires by our house.

Well Thursday mothers and babies all returned hungry and seemingly all present. Geesh! I thought I have been rescued from the cats! Guess they couldn't find shelter, food, and water where they went.

Jack went out on a yard cruise tonight and he had great fun with the cats. They are a bit in awe of the motorised chair! We had two males neutered this spring. The vet did lasier work and they did wonderful...and these two come in to be fed. One is a bit shy the other stays in for hours on the cool tile floor or taking over my chair.

We have all sizes, colors, tigers, calicos, beautiful markings, long and short hair, and all have great personalities....JUST NEED HOMES!

Guilt free fun

2008-07-26T15:57:00.000-07:00

Jack and I are learning to have fun without the guilt of Mother's care.

She is well cared for and seems very happy in the facility where she lives now. I go almost every day unless Jack needs me more because I am his care facility.

We have been having more "fun" days and trips out of the house. This is very good for both of us.

Just this week: We picked out new carpet and scheduled measuring,etc.

Went to three different casinos. I didn't win but it was great therapy.

We had the car serviced..certainly overdue.

We are learning.........

A quiet night.........

2008-07-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

Monday night the power went off again. No storm or wind problems so we expected it to come on quickly. Eight hours later it did.

We had not used the generator yet and I didn't know just how to operate it. The neighbor who set it up lives in the country and didn't have the power failure so I didn't want to disturb them since they have early morning obligations as well.

When it finally got so hot that Jack began to have pain we pulled out the van and drove around the country side, to a neighboring town with lots of lights, and just around town. The wind finally seemed to start a breeze so we came back to the house. But being Oklahoma weather the breeze disappeared so with a wet towel and a big old fashioned hand held fan we made it till the breeze finally came back with cooling temps.

With only two hours sleep Tuesday was slow starting and slow all day. Nurse came at noon and the rest of the day was nap time..LOL Last night was a quiet night thank goodness with more rest...which I am craving a lot of lately. Friends say this is part of the recovery time, that I was more exhausted that I realized. Went to see Mom and she was napping so I decided that was the best idea.

It is so hot and dry here that the flowers are toasted. The water bill was outragious so am cutting back.

Peace!

It takes a community.........

2008-07-07T16:32:00.000-07:00

Fourth of July in a small community takes on various forms. Cities nearby offer concerts, festivals, and fireworks on a grand scale. But in a small community where money is scarce it is stay at home, bar-be-que in the backyard, or join with neihghbors to shoot off fireworks.

In this small community the only church offered free food, games, and fireworks. This was the first time that the church had tried a community picnic on this large scale. The announcement was put in several papers (mostly the free handout kind).

The results were amazing for a first effort to pull a community together for a family fun night. The word FREE caught the eye of some of course, the fact that it was close at home, and a family event made it important to others. The results were families with at least three generations in the groups put their lawn chairs out, ate, drank sodas, and chatted. The fireworks were donated by a man who owned a stand last year.... he just gave them to the fire department here, and the church bought some as well.

The last cars were leaving about 11 or so. Friends sat on our front porch across from the church. It was a good evening. Lots of games for the kids, lots of talk for the adults, food and drink for everyone, and a great fireworks display. Of course there were two firemen in attendance with a fire truck and a paramedic as well.

The general conclusion was "let's do this again next year."

Mama's picture is in the paper

2008-06-28T14:01:00.000-07:00

Mother's picture was among many groups of residents of the nursing facility where she lives. They had an entertainment for the people and they all enjoyed the afternoon on the patio listening to Blue Grass Music. Jack found her in the group and I cut out the picture to send to her niece. I told her this morning she was in the paper and I would send it to Rita, Mom really got excited and laughed.

Peace!

GOING TO SEE MAMA

2008-06-28T03:10:00.000-07:00

Going to visit my Mom is always an experience. Sometimes she is glad to see me. The next time she is rather passive and not responsive.

Yesterday made me feel left out. I never stay long just breeze in, sometimes rub her back, feed her a meal, just give her kisses (our special way), and leave her to rest or do whatever she is caught up in. I have always felt that in most facilities there is little space for visiting, the resident feels like I did when I was in the hospital--just say hello and leave me alone, or I am in the way of the functioning of the facility.

When I took the doughnuts yesterday, the girls all came down to say hello and thanks for being appreciated, waved at Mom and went about their business. Mom didn't have much time for me, she told me she had a pain, her legs still hurt and not to touch them, and then asked if I was leaving! LOL I noticed when the girls came in, she responded to their waves and smiled.

The good thing about this is: Mom is so settled in that the nurses and aides that she sees all day long are more familiar to her than seeing my face daily. She is also so bonded to them that they seem like her family and she has transferred dependency to them. I need this in case Jack has problems and I need to spend time with him and not see Mom every day. I should be grateful for the loving care that has made Mom attach herself to these ladies.

My goal is to make Mom comfortable and content in her new living accommodations. I am still her daughter but this group is her new family and they are the ones that make her comfortable, feed her, and give her smiles all day. Emotionally I feel left out and more like an observer. Rationally, I am glad of the transfer and the adjustment. I feel she is safe and better cared for than the job I was doing because of the professional nurses and availability of a Physician Assistant. This is what she deserves and what I wanted for her. I am not sure what I expected with the dementia. But I don't think I was quite ready for such a good adjustment and her not asking about home and her cat. I worried about how I would handle that, and now I am hurt that I don't have to handle that! Are we never satisfied? lol

No one I talked to-----told me this would be this difficult-----and I am sure it is different for everyone.

Rainbows in a cloudless sky

2008-06-27T06:32:00.000-07:00

Jack and I have often found rainbows when traveling, once we were in Death Valley and tried to find the end of a beautiful rainbow. Instead we drove through the beautiful rays and laughed at the absence of a pot of gold. But perhaps the pot of gold comes in different forms!

Wednesday just before noon Jack and I took our first real drive for pleasure since Mom has been at Ayres. Jack had not been to Vernon, Texas. We kept hearing about the storm areas and Vernon was often mentioned so we drove South. We were through small towns and drove around looking at the old churches and restored store buildings. We are not as interested in cemeteries since Jack can't get out in the weeds and grass so we look at the historical significance of the brick or stone buildings. Lots of Golden Dreams in those old buildings or emotional rainbows!

We had lunch in Vernon and returned the same route, locating perhaps the direction our next "drive about" will take. I noticed it doesn't take much to entertain us anymore. Just being out together is a real treat. Just a colorful landscape or a landed rainbow?

Yesterday evening we both had our evening meal, had our feet up, and I was almost dozing. The doorbell rang and I thought the neighborhood junior helpers must be looking for a job! LOL But it was a cousin that I am not positive but it has been over 50 years since I had seen him. He and his family were taking a drive day to look at their birth places, cemeteries, etc. His sister had been here earlier with her husband and now the younger brother shows up. Here again was a lovely colorful group, perhaps a family rainbow?

My cousin made an interesting comment........only in the country does someone invite you in even when they don't know you! I returned that someone who knocks on your door needs help or probably knows you.....but he thought it unique. Of course they live in the metro and that makes a difference. Here in small towns there are neighborhood rainbows or maybe a different type of friendly rainbow?

This morning I made a doughnut run and will take glazed sugary hunks to the nursing home staff. They deserve all the perks they can get. A "friend" came by and was full of discord when it comes to nursing facilities. I told her I was satisfied and felt that I got much more care for MOM with praise than with constant criticism. She thought I was full of bunk! LOL

Today promises to be hot...........so quiet and peace will be the rule of the day in Marigold country home!

I did make the right decision

2008-06-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

YES,

I made the right decision when I put mom in the nursing facility. After yesterday at the emergency room for hours and hours, I knew I had done the right thing . Blood clots in both legs was a painful and dangerous condition and after the trip to the emergency room I felt the nursing home was doing a good job.

Today they called to tell me they had started therapy and she had eaten a good lunch. And I decided on my own that she had had a hard day on Monday and so had I so we both rested at our respective homes.

I was also informed that my reactions to the nursing home care was normal and correct and not to worry! LOL At home I felt tired and unable to start any projects or carry out regular activities....... this was also normal.

So SUPER WOMAN is normal and everything is fine!

2008-06-17T13:45:00.000-07:00

Sirens and wind! We were ready to take cover but the rains came and that was all! We again were very fortunate and avoided a tornado, hail, high winds, and all the other things that were forcast!

Mother has encountered some medical problems since she entered the nursing facilities. These circumstances or situations I would probably not recognised, and if I did would have had to make an appointment, then take mother to the doctor's appointment,etc. But at the facility they immediately recognised the symptoms, call the doctor and started medication. AGAIN I am grateful that she is there and getting good care.

With the stormy weather constantly forcast and the possibilities of loss of power, I cannot in good conscience think of bringing Mom back here. She is safe and well cared for now. I go almost every day, at different times to just check on things. She always seems so glad to see me, and I don't stay long because she is usually going to or coming from some activity.

Mom smiled a lot today and looked the best she has in a long time. I think she likes having so many people around her.

It is Thursday again............

2008-06-12T04:29:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy week. With Jack's daughter here to help we have accomplished a great deal. Her original plan was to be with Jack while I hunted a place for Mom but that happened before she got here. Her being here has been a great distraction so I didn't think about Mom and worry about her.

This is her last day and I know I am going to miss her greatly. Jack has enjoyed her visit and they have spent lots of time together. She makes him laugh and he needed lots of that. She has also cooked for us. She like my daugher likes to show off her skills and she is a good cook. When either one or both are here I can stay out of the kitchen!

We have had the airconditioner repairman here to fix our room unit. The exhaust fan broke and we had a new part overnighted and that was fixed Tuesday.

The plumber put in a new commode (tall size) in Mom's bathroom bringing it up to handicap standard. We have been on his waiting list for sometime and he was scheduled to be here last Friday but we had to put him off till we had power and water.

A homeless dog had picked our house to park for a couple of weeks and I had named him----"get out of here dog", or so it would seem. But the friend who helped with the power from the truck......fell for him and took him home to the farm with him. Good for both of them!

The big fire across the alley from us has really upset the cat population and that is great.........we have less felines. Maybe they looked at the mobile home that they dragged in a couple of days ago and decided on a better neighborhood. Nothing has been cleaned up.....but the trailer is sitting there like a great boil on the neighborhood.

Today promises to be hot........need to feed the felines that are squatting about the yard........actually sitting not doing the other! And then I will have another cup of coffee.

Peace!

a weekend from?

2008-06-09T19:22:00.000-07:00

Thursday evening we had a very bad storm.

Several towns nearby had a great deal of damage.

We were again fortunate except the power went off abut 8 p.m. We were told the next day that we would not have power for several days and later in the day the same about water. So about noon on Friday I took Mom to a nursing facility because I felt she would be well cared for there and safe. Not knowing what we would do with the heat, no power, no water, we would probably go to a motel or some such place away from here. Friends came in and powered up a unit using a diesel pickup and we had power for Jack's chair and a fan. We would make it through that night.

At 5 the next morning we were awakened to pounding on our doors and windows to awaken us. The house just across the alley was fully engulfed in flames and they wanted us awake incase we had to leave.

Our VOLUNTEER fire department put a pumper truck between the fire and us and kept water on all our buildings and house, everything until the fire was out. They also kept one of the firemen manning that truck at all times.

The fire was not actually out till Sunday night when it flared up for the umteenth time and was thoroughly soaked with water again and again.

I went on Sunday to take Mom some more clothing,etc and tell her about her friends home, and she said she was well cared for and happy! When I left she waved said goodby and to drive carefully!

Nurses said she had adjusted very well and I was grateful for their care . This is the facility that her husband had been as well as her sister. She knew everyone and she was well known also. So far, so good!

I am getting some rest, Jack's daughter is here helping me to learn again to rest and let someone else help....

The sore ankle that resulted from a slip on water in the bathroom on Sunday is definately better, also!

Peace!

RELIEF IS ON THE WAY...........

2008-06-03T02:57:00.000-07:00

Picture this:

fields of golden wheat ready to be cut,

huge combines and semis in the fields waiting to begin the day,

the hot sun and wind drying the crop to ready it for cutting,

workers starting the day at 8 in the morning and keeping at it until 11 at night,

and everyone holding their breath that the clouds will continue to scuttle across the sky and not stop here.

The temperatures are approaching triple digit figures, and it is hot let me assure you!

Goldie and Lonesome went to see vet yesterday. New procedure for neutering is done with laser and they seem to be doing well.

Jack's daughter called yesterday and she is coming to give me time to do some facility research, give her dad some Father's Day time, and in general enjoy this horrible heat! LOL

It will be wonderful to have someone to share the responsibility with for a few days....she is so good with her dad. I need a time to do things like get a haircut.

Barking dogs woke me at 3 this morning.............cats do not BARK!

Peace reigns but shakily at Marigold Country Home!

AM I NOT SUPER WOMAN?

2008-05-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

NOW HEAR THIS, I AM SUPER WOMAN!

At least I thought so...........but daughter, doctor, neighbors, friends, husband, others, have decided to set me straight. They keep telling me I don't have the training to take care of my mother with Alzheimers.

The doctor used this term for the first time in our last conversation.

She has a new medication that might help somewhat with memory problems. In the last few weeks Mom has mentally slowed down. Sometimes I think she has a little difficulty deciding just who I am (sometimes I wonder who I am too!).

A facility with trained staff sounds wonderful for her but it doesn't help my guilt feelings for giving up.

I hope I know when the time is right to do this change. Some one out there who has made this decision.......Please Help!

TELL ME DOCTOR.......

2008-05-23T15:37:00.000-07:00

The doctor called today to tell me he wanted to prescribe an antibiotic for Jack and I asked for something for Mom's memory.

Then I got the same general counseling about finding a place for Mom so she would be well cared for and I would not be burned out and end up needing the care. He understands the problem with the two to care for and he wants to keep me able to take care of one at least.

He said the thing that impressed him the first time we came to his office (three years ago) was the fact that when he wanted to see Jack's leg I sat in the floor, unwrapped the wound and then wrapped it up again. I didn't understand why that was so rare, and he said he rarely saw wives caring for smelly, messy wounds, and certainly not sitting on the floor of the doctor's office. He said we talked to each other differently than many of his patients, and he hoped when he was married as long as we were that he and his wife were as caring for each other. Tell me that this doctor isn't a rare jewel!

Anyway I have to begin to think about this caring thing in a different way. First, I will find a place that will take Mom for a few days so I can get some rest and Jack and I can get away.......also if Jack had to have medical attention in a hospital I would need a place to put mom till we were home again.

If Mom needed the hospital care, Jack's daughter would come stay with him I think, she did when Mom had cancer surgery in February. It seems I have to always have a back up for any situation. Guess that is one of the things that makes me nervous at times. Backups are sometimes not reliable.

This is the doctor who made a house call during his lunch break to tell Mom that she cancer and he would find someone who would fix it......and he did.

Peace of a sort reigns at Marigold Country House and Marigolds are starting to bloom!

There is evening and then the dawn.........

2008-05-15T20:39:00.000-07:00

There is morning then evening.............after that the dawn.

Today Jack could not stand this one room of our existence another minute! We took Mom and went out...........just out! I was the driver so could decide just what we would do.

We left about 11:30 and drove about 20 minutes to a small town Whistle Stop Cafe. We ordered lunch and Mom had biscuits and gravy and of course Ensure! lol We had not been out for a meal in a long time but it went fairly well. Even though I took her wheel chair I let Mom walk the distance to the restaurant and back to the car.

Mom needed the fresh air and the wind in her face. She also needed the exercise. I knew she would be tired but a nap would take care of that. Jack needed the same things but the change of environment was a biggie for him.

After lunch I said I wanted to drive around this small town and we drove up and down the streets seeing how it compared to our town. We laughed that every house had at least 3 junk cars and as many dogs.

We then checked out the local cemetery and enjoyed reading the unusual Indian names. Jack and I have always loved cemeteries since our days of doing genealogy research.

As soon as we got home Mom went in and took her rest. Jack and I both put our feet up and talked about our outing. Sometimes the simplest things can turn out well.

Yesterday, I had to call the paramedics to help Mom up. She had fallen and I was not able to help her get up. I also wanted her checked out to be sure she was not injured. This occurred while I had gone to the post office to get the mail...Mom kept saying Jack had helped her so much........actually being there with her was what helped. You can't imagine Jack helping her up from his power chair.

A couple of teens came by tonight asking for a kitty. I let them pick out one of the babies with the promise that they would bring it back if it didn't work out. This one was eating dry kibble with the big kitties today so I am sure it will be fine. Mommie cat might wonder where this baby wandered off. It is hard for me to part with them and wonder if they will be well cared for.

Tonight Peace reigns at Marigold Country Home.

FAST SERVICE!

2008-05-06T19:04:00.000-07:00

On the 23rd of April, I asked Mom's nurse about getting a wheel chair and walker for Mom.

She asked what I though she should have and I relayed information from her therapist.

This nurse did the paper work, called her home office, asked what company they used, and asked Mom's doctor again to be sure and said to let her know in two days if I had not heard anything!

Yep, right on schedule, two days later, I received a call, to confirm what we wanted, doctor's name, said they would get back with us the following week! The representative said the items were in the warehouse it was just the matter of getting the order from the doctor. The following Wednesday afternoon the company representatives arrived with a top of the line wheelchair and walker with wheels, seat, and cargo compartment! LOL

One week! I still can't believe it because we had been talking with the therapist about this for a number of months, and no one had made a move.

Peace!

WEATHER ALERT

2008-05-06T18:51:00.000-07:00

Because I have two people that I am responsible for, I thought it was necessary to be aware of weather conditions since we live in tornado alley so to speak.

Recently I purchased a weather alert radio and it keeps us well informed about storms and severe weather conditions that might occur.

This provides more sleep usually and puts lots of trust in electronics! So far the wake up siren is quite effective and I listen to the information provided about the weather. There are three levels of warning: warning, watch, and advisory.

I slept happily through two really noisy, electrical displays and rain last night without the least worry! For a native that has watched storms for years, giving someone else the job really works for me!

Peace in Marigold Country Home on the Oklahoma Prairie!

2008-04-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

One of the mama kitties had 7 babies......we only saved three. They have accommodated themselves in a nice blanket furnished box for a couple of weeks.

Other cats have not bothered the kittens and mama has been rather content to let me tickle their fat little tummies.

I went out yesterday to find all three gone! I could not find their new suite so cleaned their habitat, shook, swept, refolded and rearranged their blankets and box to make an interesting play pen. No kitties!

This morning there was one back, at noon another one, and later the last back from their trip out into the world! They were still rather unsteady on their feet so she must have carried them.

She actually slipped the last one in while I was getting the lawnmower out to do a little trimming. I turned around and she was there with the little black one.

She guarded them and comforted them while the lawnmower was making beastly noises. When I put that big mean thing away she abandoned them to their ranging persuits and went to munch much needed nourishment.

Ooohhh the life of an innocent little kitten!

Peace!

Earth Day and I almost missed it!

2008-04-22T03:57:00.000-07:00

Earth Day.........no trees to plant but I will plant flowers! And wear my Earth Day t-shirt! Wow, how could I have missed that! Out here on the Oklahoma Prairie we have a lot of earth!

The long long list.............

2008-04-22T03:51:00.000-07:00

You have heard of the long long line......the movie, well, I have a long long list and it isn't moving very fast!

Yesterday was fairly successful! Called prescription insurance and it did not pay on the antibiotic because we have reached the limit of pay out for this year unless we reach the catastrophic level of 4000 or more for prescriptions. With less than a quarter of the year past and 2500 already used, we may make that level yet! However, we haven't put 2500 out of pocket. That was insurance.

A friend in Tipton brought me back from taking my car, she will also make Ensure purchase when at the base today,

Picked up 300 dollars in supplies at the Home Health Products store in Frederick, as well as groceries and sundries from the Dollar General Store and Market.

The air conditioner installer from the first few months we were here after the move, came as per our call to check out air conditoner he installed and a wall unit in our area that has been here for 7 or 8 years and we don't know when it had been serviced. We believe in preventive maintenance and starting the long hot summer without knowing the conditions of the cooling equipment seems silly.

Left message for the doctor as per the emergency room visit. Calling that a follow up visit! LOL

Called in a prescription for pain medication to be picked up later this week.

Another friend took me to get the car when finished, replacing the key switch in the steering mechanism was the job and he only charge me 20 dollars. He was pleased that I had already purchased the part and he didn't have to bother with that time and effort. The part cost more than the labor.

Another friend brought bags of cat food from Snyder when they went to pick up their son from ball practice...........so everything was pretty much covered. And yes I paid generously for gas on these trips since it is already $3.42 here.

I didn't get any flowers transplanted, my helping neighborhood boy is on restrictions for a bad attitiude! I did not get supplies from the hardware store, and I didn't get garage doors washed! Oh well that can start the list for another day.

Because she slept the clock around for 12 hours, Mom was in a wonderful mood yesterday and was strong and did really well. Her appetite was good and she laughed a lot and made all of us feel really good.

Our weather site gives an arthritis indext for the day. Yesterday was very high because of the humidity and Jack had a very uncomfortable day. He looks to me to give answers as to why he feels so badly, some times I just have to give a gut level answer. My medical degree isn't finished yet! LOL

Our youngest abandoned furry feline has made a habit of letting me know he is hungry and hurry up! It isn't time to feed the kitties but he is giving the screen door fits, this is to wake me up and hurry me along! He is in for a surprise, I am not easily hurried.

We are scheduled for interesting weather today so I will check the safe room for arrangement and supplies just in case and then Peace will reign at Marigold Country Home for at least a brief period of time!

HEY i TRIED!

2008-04-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

Why when I have a day of rest, I don't get much! LOL

I did do some puttering in the flower beds. And always the many loads of laundry. Just keeping this place with a semblance of tidy makes a bit of busy work.

The list of to do is long today: Call about the insurance on the $300+ drug bill on Saturday, have someone pick me up and bring me home when I take car to be fixed, call doctor and report the emergency room visit and what is being done, do the weekly shopping, and hit the hardware store for yellow warning paint, a wire brush, and a caulking gun.

Mother's daily one hour aide might arrive today but time is always variable. Have a list for my neighborhood boy is he wants to work. Need to mow a small section of the yard to keep it tidy since the regular yard boy will not mow till the weekend. Want to wash the garage doors and see if I can get the dullness off. Need to water the flowers since it will be hot today and of course the general house cleaning and maintenance for the kitties.

Does that sound like enough to keep me busy......Mom went to bed last night at 7........it is after 7 am and she still is in bed... wow was she really tired from the two all nighters she had.

Peaceful at Marigold Country Home right now! Keeping my fingers crossed!

The day in beautiful flowers........

2008-04-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like taking a walk around the yard and looking at the flowers coming up and the ones already in bloom. I am always amazed at the growing and the reoccurring of flowers from last year.

Marigolds are coming up everywhere almost. I just pull up the plants and drop them in the flower beds, cover them with mulch of all kinds and hope for the next year. I have used horse manure, pecan shells, egg shells, coffee grounds, commercial mulch and the leaves from the trees.

A neighbor boy (5th grader) is raking my yard and I am going to use that as mulch this summer since it promises to be hot and water is at a premium out here on the dry Oklahoma Prairie. Last year was a very wet summer but this ones promises to be less so. He is interested in science and I want him to try some things to keep the bugs and animals from wandering through the flower beds. I don't think we can do too much to keep the four legged, furry, felines from ferocious fun among the flowers but I will try some things. Maybe he will have some ideas, too. Sounds like a Science Fair Project to me.

Mom had an all nighter again last night. I can't seem to get her in bed. So I finally gave up last night. She was exhausted this morning, weak, hardly able to wobble to the table. She didn't want her biscuits and gravy, one of her favorite foods. So we will stay home from Church this morning and get some rest.

Jack is doing ok, getting lots of "cat" naps in, the cats are fed and out in the cool, cloudy, morning playing all over the yard. Time for me to shut down and take a rest.

Peace from Marigold Country Home.